Turning Point (A.I.)

chapter 23- don't you see i need you?

after eating, i climb back inside my car and i was off to find ashton's house again.  it was starting to get late and i had nowhere to stay since i was supposed to be at his house tonight.  

i head back onto the highway and turn the music up a little bit louder.  it was a nirvana song that almost made me a tiny bit calmer.  i still had no clue where i was going and had forgotten ashton's address.  i drive and drive for what seems to be thirteen million hours, but it was only thirty minutes.

i'm on a endless road of twists and turns, but i'm not exactly sure if i'm describing my life or the highway.  it was simple, or so i thought.  i would tell ashton i was having his child, he would jump for joy and kiss me, then we would live happily ever after.  but its' time to wake up, this isn't a fairy tale, this was reality and i needed to put myself together.  i needed to accept the harsh reality that i'm a "case" of teen pregnancy and i'll have a child before i graduate high school.  life is going to be hard over the next couple of years, but i know i'll make it.

my driving limit is about to be hit, but suddenly i see an exit that looks like where we left from earlier that afternoon.  i turn my blinker on and i was off the highway quicker than i ever have been.  i get to a stop light and look around and realize that i was in the wrong place.  instead of getting  back onto the highway, i start driving through the town in hopes that his hometown would be the next one over.

it was starting to get dark now and i was never good with driving in the dark so i pull over on the side of the road.  i start to sob into my steering wheel and fell myself getting more and more light headed.  this is the most i've ever cried since i was fourteen years old.  

i didn't realize that i sobbed for twenty minutes straight.  i also didn't realize it was pitch black out and i was one of the only people on the road this late at night.  i double checked that my doors were locked and started my car up again.  i drove to see where there was lights ahead so i could maybe figure out where exactly i was.  

i pulled into a parking lot of a fast food joint and instead of getting out to ask for directions i grabbed my phone.  small tears were starting to make their way out of my eyes again, and god i really did hate crying.  i click the first number in my contact list and bring the phone up to my ear.  it rings and then it sounds like somebody declined it since it stopped so suddenly.  more and more tears fall down my cheeks and if anybody were to walk past, they would think i was crazy.

i press the number again and it doesn't even ring this time, straight to voice mail.  i throw my phone to the passenger seat and just scream in frustration.

"dammit, ashton!  answer your god damn phone you asshole!"  i yell and break into even more sobs.  

immediately, almost if on cue, my phone starts to ring again.  i reach for it and laugh bitterly as it was ashton calling me.

"why the fuck aren't you answering your phone?"  i spit into the phone.  it wasn't crying anymore, rather an angry kind of sad.

"why are you mad?  you're the one who is pregnant and didn't tell me shit about your past."

"are you fucking serious, ashton?  you left your pregnant girlfriend, that's if we're still together at this point, in a park and she doesn't have a dam clue where the hell she is."  

"we're still together, but where are you?"  he asks, defeated.

"i guess you didn't catch my drift, i have no damn clue!  this is all so new to me and i don't know."  i laugh with no emotion.  

"use your brain and send a picture or find an address or something.  don't move because once i find out where you are, i'm bringing you to my house."  he breathes out and then hangs up.    

i take a picture and send it to him and moments later, i get a text from him saying he knows exactly where i am.  not even ten minutes later, he was pulling his car up beside me.  i open my door as he does the same thing.  we make awful eye contact before he hugs me and kisses my forehead.  

even though i want to yell at him with all i have inside of me, i keep it together.  i rest inside of his arms for a minute before pulling back.

"thanks for coming to get me."

"it's not a problem, babe.  i wasn't going to let you stay out here all night.  you are carrying my child," he smiles at his attempt to cheer the mood up, but instead makes me even more pissed off.

"oh, so now it's okay that i'm pregnant and you're the father.  i appreciate you coming to get me and everything, but don't think for a moment that you are off the hook, do you hear me.  bring me home, bring me food, and let me sleep.  we're going to talk about this tomorrow."  i was being rather bossy and i'm usually not like this, but hormones are playing a huge part in it.  also, nothing was going to get done if we took things easy.

"okay whatever you say, babe.  i'm glad you're okay."  he says and gives me a small peck on the lips.

 we're an odd couple if you ask me, but for the better part, we work gracefully (sometimes) and beautifully (sometimes).  i'm also very glad he knows that it's my way or no way at all.  

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hello!!! i hope everyone had very nice holidays and is looking forward to the new years and 2016 because i feel like this is gonna be a good year!  i've updated late, but what's new??? anyway, stay safe (street) and live your life!