What Does Death Feel Like?

𝔽𝕠𝕦𝕣𝕥𝕪𝕗𝕚𝕧𝕖

TW//ABUSE

Yoongi nodded at Hoseok, softly breathing in as he thought about his childhood. Yoongi thought about his parents, it had been the first time in a while since he had actually thought more about how his parents treated him as a kid.

"As a kid I was very shy, I didn't like talking to people and didn't have mush social interaction around the house, other then with my sister," Yoongi said as Hoseok nodded, writing something down as Yoongi thought more about how his parents treated him.

"My parents worked a lot when me and my sister were younger," Yoongi said, softly sighing. "My parents had been every rich when I was younger, they always gave us good food and a nice babysitter to look after us, but I always felt lonely no matter what.

"When my sister and I were small children, our parents would take care of us and watch over us a lot more. But as we got older my parents got busier and busier and didn't take care of us as much anymore.

"My parents got us a babysitter to look after us, the babysitter had looked after us for many years, enough to the point where she felt liek my own mother. . ." Yoongi said as a tear dripped from his eyes, Hoseok softly held his hand as he talked even more.

"I-I remover the first night it happened though. . . The first time I had ever gotten beaten by my parents. . ." Yoongi said as Hoseok's eyes widened, the taller getting up and sitting next to Yoongi. The smaller softly hugged him as he continued.

"The reason my parents beat me was because my best friend at the time had put some really red chapstick on my lips, it made it look like I was wearing really light lipstick," Yoongi said as Hoseok kissed his head, softly caressing his shoulder as Yoongi felt safe in Hoseok's arms.

"I remember all the horrible words my parents said to me, saying that I was a disgrace to our family. I remember not even understanding why they hated me so much in that moment, I didn't even know what being gay was at the time.

"I remember highschool though, that was when the abuse in the household got even worse. My sister and I started to figure out our sexualities more, my sister yearned out to be bisexual and I turned out to be pansexual. My parents, after a bit, started to figure out that my sister would bring a certain girl over everyday and that I started to dress a little bit more 'feminine' to their taste.

"I remember my friends getting me all of these toys and clothes as jokes and I would always wait until my parents left to try them on, I would always take pictures of myself and send them to my friends and they would always say that I could actually pass as a girl.

"But I also remember how my parents would find these in my room and beat me for it. The day it went to hell though was the first time I brought a guy over," Yoongi said as Hoseok nodded, Yoongi softly holding his hand to say not to worry.

"The first time I brought a guy over was a very interesting time, I wouldn't call us dating but we definitely had something going on. He came up to my room and we definitely flirted a bit, and he might have convinced me to put on some things, a sexy maid outfit.

"It was just before we were about to do the nasties that my parents came home and into my room, they saw us kissing and half naked. They threw him out of the house and nearly beat my half to death.

"Everything hurt so much after that, we moved the next day and my parents would beat my sister and I everyday until we were 'straight' in my parents eyes.

"And now I'm gone, away from them and on to new and bigger things that actually make me happy," Yoongi said with a smile on his face.

"I'm with you, Hoseok," Yoongi said as Hoseok kissed his cheek, the both of them smiling at each other.