Only In Her Dreams

Chapter 1

I look down the dark alleyway towards the figure that stands there. They are unmoving and facing me. I can't make out the features although there is some familiarity there. I should feel scared but I don't. Instead, I feel curious.

I take a few steps towards the figure, walking further into the endless alleyway. 

As I approach them I start to feel a sense of comfort. Do I know them? At this point, I can tell it's a female, short in stature, long dark waves cascading down past her shoulders. 

One more step into the darkness and the moon casts a light upon the face of the unknown figure. My stomach drops, my heart begins to race. It can't be Abby, there is no possible way but I know who I am looking at. 

At first, my feet are unmoving, planted into the ground. Then, I take off in a full-on sprint as fast as I can. Tears streaming down my face, my silent tears turn into full-on sobs and I can't wait to embrace her. 

Feeling a wave of happiness and relief wash over me. All those months of longing and sadness washed away the moment I set eyes on her.

Just as I am about to reach her I am pulled back hard and darkness fills me. 

Tears of happiness turn into tears of grief when I open my eyes and realize it was all just a dream. 

I'm sobbing now as the feelings of sadness and longing overwhelm me. I close my eyes wanting to go back to the dream so it can continue and I can be reunited with her. I so desperately want to return to that dream.

That dream that felt so real. I could FEEL her there with me. It didn't feel like a dream at all, but a happy reunion. The only thing that lets me know that it wasn't real was the fact that I know I can't see my sister again. 

Not alive and well on this earth. 

Not after she died almost a year ago. 

After I get my sobs under control I manage to pull myself out of bed. I pick up my phone to check the time, it's 7 A.M. I only have an hour until I have to be at school. I pick some clothes out of my closet and head to the bathroom to take a quick shower.

When I am finished getting ready for school I head down the stairs towards the kitchen where I smell bacon and I hear my mom and stepdad talking.

I step into the kitchen and am greeted with a hug from my mom "Good morning Liss, sleep well? You look tired." She says in a soft, sad tone.

"I slept ok mom but I just had a strange dream about Abby that left me feeling a little sad" I explain as I take a seat on the barstool and take a piece of bacon.

"I understand, I've had dreams that she was in too." My mom starts "Sometimes I like to tell myself that it was just her coming to say hi and let me know she's doing ok and that gives me comfort. Try not to let it affect you too much honey. I know you miss her but like Chris says," she nods her head and motions towards my stepdad "we all must move on at some point and we can't continue to wallow in grief forever."

I look over towards Chris who just continues to sip his coffee and shrugs.

When she says things like it makes me angry. "I've also been told that everyone grieves differently and in their own way." I all but shout "no one should tell me how long I should be sad for! I lost my twin sister for hell sakes!" I scream

Chris gets up off his chair "DO NOT speak to your mother that way! Do that again and see what happens!" he threatens

I stand there wanting to scream back but I realize it will only make the situation worse. Instead, I storm out of the kitchen and grab my backpack on the way out the front door as I slam it behind me.

I open the driver's side door to my car and throw my backpack into the passenger seat as I slide into the driver's seat and slam my door. I throw it into reverse and back out in haste headed towards my high school.

I'm shaking I'm so mad.. my mom expects me to just forget and move on after Abby died 10 months ago. After my fraternal twin left this earth. Left me. Left me heartbroken and alone. My stepdad Chris won't even let us speak about her anymore! Saying it isn't healthy. So he and my mom just carry on with their lives like nothing has happened while I am continually wracked with grief every. single. day. of. my. life.

I miss her.

My life will never return to normal.

Not after a piece of me died with her.