If You Only Knew

My Life

My name is Ciara, I'm an upcoming junior and my life sucks. I don't get my parents, they expect me to be this person that is smart and focused and puts in there all for everything, but I'm just not. When I was younger, my older brother Landon, died from an "accidental" overdose on drugs, I believe it was suicide. why? My parents would always put pressure on my brother, screaming and just constantly ride on his back any time he'd mess up on the littlest stuff.

flashback

"I'm sick of it Landon, every day is the same as you, you never put in the effort to do anything. Grow up already!" my mom shouted

"Maybe it's because of you guys, you never listen, you never care for what I have to say, so why the hell should I put in the effort to do anything, when you guys won't even care to acknowledge it?" Landon hisses back

"don't blame us for how your acting, you wanna stay out late and constantly treat others like crap and now not turning in your assignments for school? what is going on with you? just get out of our faces, I don't wanna see you right now." my dad demanded.

I was in the other room but I heard everything. When my dad told my brother to get out, he walked past the room I was in but he didn't see me but he had said something that I didn't really understand until after his death. He had said

"They don't wanna see me? well good cause I don't wanna see me either. It's ok cause this will all be over once I'm gone."

That same night around 11 pm, my mom went to check on my brother. But when she opened the door she screamed at the top of her lungs. Me and my dad rushed to my mom when we glanced in my brother's room and we saw foam coming out of his mouth and him shaking on the floor, we rushed him to the hospital but he died on the way there. After that, I never forgave my parents...I blame them for Landon's death.

He was the only person I can go to and talk to without him judging, and I was the only one he could talk to without me judging... mainly because we both understood each other. Now I have no one. It has been 2 months since Landon died. He was 18 and I was 15 when he passed. I am 16 now and so far I have anger issues and I'm depressed...Doesn't get any better than this . So Fast forward present day, It is the last day of freedom until I go back to school. I guess it's fun because nobody ever bothers me. I'm that quiet kid you always see in the back. As usual I'm in my room, isolated from the world, on my phone and I start to get hungry, so I head downstairs. Now when I get down there, next to the stairs is the living room but if you turn and go straight then I'll be in the kitchen. I guess my parents didn't hear me coming down because I overheard my name coming from my dad's mouth.

"maybe if we just send her their for a month" my dad whispered

" are you sure this is good for her?" my mom said in a concerned voice

"we can't handle her, she doesn't talk to us, she won't even eat with us. If we don't do something now then she's gonna end up just like her brother...Stupid." my dad said gradually getting louder when he spoke

"LIAM!" my mom hissed back

"He killed himself, we all know he did. All because he couldn't handle the truth, he took the easy way out instead of owning the fact that he did this to himself!" my dad angrily whispered back

After I heard that I was shocked. I mean I know my parents are a piece of crap but he took that way too far, and now they want to send me away?

For some reason it was like my body became stiff, and it felt like there were so many thoughts in my head that were all talking at once, I just needed to get out of the house. I then tip-toed upstairs and grabbed some money and my phone and charger and snuck out from my window, I didn't know where I was gonna go but I just needed to go.

Hey Guys!! I hope you liked this chapter and can't wait to make more and see where Ciara goes from here.