Kabadtrip ka, Tadhana!

Prologue

The lights are off. My room was all dark but I know it's a mess. I was plucking the strings of my guitar and humming some random melody. It's chaotic. Like me.

I looked for my phone to check the time. Kanina pa kasi nagri-ring 'yon kaya pinatay ko na lang. I know they will just nag about how big failure I am or how shameful they are to be connected with me.

No one will ever understand me. They are ignorant of my pain. Save their hate because I have too much for myself too.

I grabbed my phone and turned it on. There are numerous missed calls and unread messages but I don't need those. I scrolled down to find his name. I know I'm fool enough to still search for it when it's clearly impossible to be found because I already deleted it. I scrolled and scrolled until I cried.

It's been a week. But I still don't understand. Why did you left? Am I too hard to handle?

"Honey, please talk to me.. Mommy is very worried. You've been locking yourself all day and keep on skipping your meals.."

I dropped my phone and cover myself with blanket. I heard my Mom's voice commanding someone to start. In a second, I heard someone is breaking my door knob. I immediately hid myself between my pillows.

"Kent.." I whispered.

The door had finally opened. It slammed on the wall and I can hear my mom's foot steps toward my direction.

"Baby.. what's going on?"

She's crying. Behind this blanket I know Mom is crying. I held my blanket even tighter. Lumayo ako ng kaunti sa kanya. Naramdaman ko namang umupo sya sa kama ko at dahan dahan akong niyakap.

A tear fell out of my eye. Hanggang sa sunod-sunod na. I cried the pain I have been keeping. I just cannot hide. She remove my blanket to see my face. Her eyes are so worried. She hugged me tight and caress my hair.

I couldn't utter any words but his name. Her hugs became tighter and with that I knew she knew.

"Nalaman ng ate mo ang nangyari," she faced me and wiped my tears. She's trying to stop her sobs to say what she has to say.

"She's going back to the Philippines," she kissed my forehead, caressing my hair while trying to smile, "With you.. anak. Hmm?"

I hugged her. I dont know what to feel but maybe this inconvinience may lead to something different. Different from this pain I have in my heart. Maybe it is what I need.

To escape.. To move on..