Winning Hurricane

XLIII - Triazolam

He was there.

And I knew he was. I saw him. I saw his shadow. I felt his presence.

Hindi niya alam na alam ko.

And I hated how prideful I was. I hated how I pretended I didn't notice him there.

After that day I didn't see him again, I let myself believe he came back to Barb.

That's how I cope up. That's how I moved-on.

That's how we truly ended.

And now.. he's back again.

Pakiramdam ko.. hindi talaga siya nawala..

"Ah, damn you. You're better off alone." I muttered to myself as I lay on my bed, feeling the comfort of the cold sheet. Kakauwi ko lamang galing sa trabaho.

Kahapon pa mabigat ang katawan ko pero parang mas lumala nang umamin si Hurricane kanina about sa oath-taking namin.. I wasn't expecting that.. sure, he's somehow failing in acting cold, he's not really good at it I guess. I just wasn't expecting na sasabihin niya lahat yon kanina.

I was totally left speechless.

Kasi, what should I say right? Na alam ko pero umakto akong hindi ko siya nakita? Besides, there's no sense in bringing back what we all have been trying to forget for years.

It's all useless now.

We can't go back now.

I heaved a sigh as I roamed my eyes around my room. Everything inside me felt so heavy. Nahihirapan akong tumayo, I'm dead tired. I tried getting up to get some medicine pero masyado akong pagod na pagod.. sobrang hirap bumangon.. I tried reaching for my phone but I was too weak.

The next morning, kahit may sinat pumasok pa din ako. I have patients, hindi ko pwedeng unahin ang sarili ko kesa sa mga pasyente ko. Ininom ko na lamang ng gamot kasi ganon naman lagi.

I've had worse during my first few years in residency.

"You look sick." Doc Atienza whispered beside me. Kakatapos lamang namin mag-rounds nang sinabayan niya ako mag-lakad.

"Sinat." I shortly replied.

"Ugh, it really sucks how we can't take leave hangga't hindi matter of life and death no?"

"We're doctors."

She shook her head as she pat me on my shoulders, "Drink meds. Need ka na malakas at focus."

I only nodded, hugging the chart I am holding. Wala naman akong ibang choice kundi gumaling at sapilitang alisin ang sinat sa katawan ko. Wow, if I can only do magic.

Dumiretso ako sa nurses station at humingi ng gamot, they always have extra. Nang makainom, dumiretso ako sa room ni Martine. Today's her discharge, I'll pay her a visit one more time since malabo na ulit na makapag kita kami sa mga susunod na buwan. Itutuloy din niya ang sa case ni Migs.

I can't help but worry, but at the same time sobrang saludo ako sa kanila. They have fears.. especially for their life but that doesn't stop them there. I didn't know much about laws and what their life is, ang nakikita ko lamang sa kanila, mulat sila sa karahasan na nangyayari.. and that's what fuels them to fight for what is right kahit karamihan sa naririnig ko sinasabing hindi maayos ang justice system dito.

"Chandy!"

I smiled walking towards her. Nakapag-palit na siya from hospital clothes to more decent one.

"Hey, are you ready?"

She crunched her nose. "Not really, see, I am leaving my fiancé here. But binulungan ko na siya kanina na bilisan niya na gumising. He'll wake up soon, right?"