My mind spirals out of control, causing my body to trip over my own feet. I feel drunk, not a single coherent thought coming to my mind, everything a fragmented and shattered mess.
I search frantically around me, my vision foggy and eyes blurry from tears. My tear ducts are inflamed, rubbed dry and irritated. My face is puffy, tear stains running down my cheeks like rivulets.
What was that?
What did I do?
What happened?
He's dead...did I do that?
How? Why?!
I run my sleeve under my nose, wiping away the drips running from my nostrils, a stinging sensation briskly spreading. I walk past the fronts of closed shops, the logos printed on the front windows. All lights are off, the only light flowing from the street lamps that flicker on and off every few minutes.
I stare down to my feet, my arms tightly hanging around my trembling body. I pinch myself, hoping to wake up, hoping to be back in my shed.
What was I thinking?
If I didn't leave, I would still be safe, he would still be alive.
Stop this, I hatefully shout at myself, you left that house so you don't have to live with constant fear.
Ironically, nothing has changed.
I crane my neck up, realizing I've come to the end of the street, the old shingled brick buildings suddenly ending to reveal farming fields. I scan the horizon from right to left, my eyes instantly narrowing on the only lit structure around, a single gas station.
I pick up my pace to a slight jog, my hands buried in my pockets and my fluffy locks bouncing over my shoulder as I get closer and closer.
Two cars are parked under the roofed gas pumps, one woman filling her gas tank and the other truck left unattended. As I approach, the woman shoots a quick glance my way, the slapping from my flats startling her for a moment.
I smile weakly at her, then rush inside the small shop. The air noticeably changes, the air muggy and damp.
"Ciao," the clerk greets quickly, busy typing away on his phone. His long blonde hair falls into his eyes, each strand greasy and tangled.
I stare around the small shop blankly, several shelves spanning the length of the place stacked full of snacks and candies.
"Can I help you with something, kid?" I turn to see the clerk now standing, lazily leaning over the counter as if he'd rather not be bothered.
"Uh..." I step closer to the counter, not really knowing why I decided to come here. I think of something to say, completely at a loss of words.
"Are you lost?" He asks.
Without thinking I replied, "Yes."
At that, the bell above the door chimes, the woman from outside stepping in and disappearing around the back to get a drink.
"I was hoping to find a ride to Venice," I say.
The clerk stares at me in disbelief, his crooked nose straightening when he tilts his head as if to say are you kidding me.
"How did you end up here all the way from Venice, that's like some thirty six kilometers away? Do you want me to call a cab for you or something?"
"There will be no need for that," the woman quickly makes her way up to the counter, overhearing our conversation. She stares down at me for a moment, then at the clerk, "I can take her, I'm heading there anyway," she offers. I inch away from her slightly, scared of getting too close to anyone.
The clerk glances back and forth between me and the woman, skeptical at first, then agrees.
"Va bene, are you good with that, kid?"
I nod shyly, staring up at the woman discreetly through my long eyelashes.
"Okay, well I'm leaving now, so come with me," she smiles lightly to me, her hands full with a drink and two snacks. She pushes open the door after paying, holding it open for me as I walk out.
"My car is that blue one there," she gestures to it, leading me to the car, unlocking her doors and lowering herself inside. I open the car door, slowly sinking inside, careful of what I touch and where.
I place my hands in my lap, staring down at them with an unknown emotion.
"Where are you heading to in Venice?" The woman asks.
"Uh, just back to my family's apartment," I lie, hoping that she doesn't ask another question, but she does.
"How did you get all the way up here?"
"I," I pause for a moment, formulating a believable answer, "I was staying with a friend, we got into a fight, I just left," I shrug.
"Well I'm sorry to hear that. What's your name?" From the corner of my eye I see her stare at me for a moment, her eyes full of wonder.
Her voice sounds as if she has smoked for the better half of her life, her car smelling like smoked cigarettes and sanitizer.
"Beatrice."
"Very pretty name," she says, turning her head to face the wide open road in front of us.
She doesn't say anything else for what seems like forever, the radio faintly playing classical tunes in the background. Every so often, the wheels of the car run right into a large puddle, splashing water onto the side of the car.
No one else drives up the opposing side of the road, the area around us completely vacant of all life. Above, the moon shines down on the car hood, making the blue hood fluorescent under the rays. Soon, the farmlands turn to trees, both sides of the road completely engulfed with luscious green oaks.
"When we get there, where would you like me to drop you off?" Her voice causes me to jump in my seat.
"Oh, uh, anywhere is fine," I convey.
She nods, readjusting her hands on the steering wheel as she takes a sharp turn around a bend.
"Grazie," I say after a few moments.
"No problem, it seemed like you needed some help," she says, as she moves her hand to pat my shoulder, and I can't help but freak out.
I hastily unbuckle myself, a gasp escaping from my lips as I motion to unlock the car door, all while watching her hand come close to me.
"Don't touch me!" I shout, unlocking the car door, ready to open it.
"Kid, what're you-,"before she can finish her sentence I throw myself out of the moving car, and I hear the woman shriek from behind me, but she doesn't stop.
I land in some brush, my body rolling forever until it stops. I watch as the headlights of the car disappear. My heart speedily beats below my skin, the fear within me beginning to dissipate. My hands shake as I stand to brush myself off, leaves and twigs falling to my feet.
My arm aches as I move it, a bruise sure to be there in the morning. I inhale and exhale a few times, taking in the crisp air, seasalt heavy within the gusts of wind.
I pivot on my heel and stop myself for a second, face to face with expansive city lights and water. The lights twinkle far off in the distance, and that familiar euphoria returns, running warmly with the adrenaline coursing through my veins.
It's so beautiful.
With that, I slowly begin to stumble forward, my body tired but mind sharp and ready for change.
Without another thought, I begin my long walk all the way down the road.
YOU ARE READING
Pretty Poison
Romance[COMPLETED] The question has always been about love. What is it? What does it feel like? Where does it come from? For her, this question lingers like an unanswered prayer. For him it was the same; blessed with a family of riches yet abse...
