Memories Deep Within

Chapter 10

Tony woke up in his workshop and had no idea what time it was. He was exhausted and hungry. He stretched for a minute and looked at the clock and he panicked. Did he really sleep for nearly twelve hours? He pulled himself together and emerged into the living room. Morgan was first to spot him and she ran to him and hugged him.

"Daddy" she said as she wrapped her arms around him.

"Hey sweetie. Did you go to school today?" he asked.

"Yeah we all did. It was weird Mommy knew how to get there,"

Pepper came into the living room and the state Tony was in made her anger slowly melt. Plus he looked adorable with his hair all messed up and sticking out in different directions.

"It was weird but I felt a sense of direction and I somehow knew the way," Pepper explained.

"Well that's good. Your memory is coming back even though you don't realize it," he said.

Pepper gave him a small smile. They still needed to talk.

Tony staggered into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. He was starving.

"I made some cauliflower Mac and cheese and grilled chicken if you're hungry," Pepper said.

"Thank you," he said, avoiding her eyes.

He knew she was pissed at him.

Tony ate his food ravenously and thought of how he was going to get on Pepper's good side and more importantly how he was going to get B.A.R.F. to work on the thalamus instead of the hippocampus. He tried so hard to find the right combination but kept coming up short. He needed to save Pepper; it was the only way she would love him again.

"You wanna tell me about your disappearing act yesterday? I could have used your help with the kids," she said firmly but softer than when she's usually mad.

"I do want to tell you. Pepper how long have you known me? Although I am a changed man in many ways when I get an idea and I'm working on something I get carried away. It was for you. To help you," he said.

"I'm waiting," she said.

"It's called B.A.R.F. Binary Augmented Retro-Framing,"

"And what exactly is it?" she asked.

"It works in the hippocampus by changing the way you perceive traumatic memories. I changed the programming to retract lost memories but I can't get it to work on the thalamus. I must have done over 100 calibrations of different combinations and I couldn't get it to work. But I'm going to keep trying as soon as I can," he explained.

Pepper felt something inside she couldn't explain. That was the most selfless thing she ever heard Tony Stark do. 

"I know why you're doing this. You think you can fix me. Tony this is the most selfless thing I've ever seen you do but one of your machines isn't going to fix me. My memory is either going to come back or it's not and there isn't anything we can do about it. We're going to have to deal with whatever happens," Pepper said grabbing his hands in hers.

He welcomed that warmth from her and yearned to pull her close to him and hug her. He yearned to brush her hair off her face like he always did and kiss her forehead and her soft lips. God he missed the feel of her soft lips. What if I never get to feel them again? What if she can never love me again? I wonder if she's curious about kissing me? Or if she's even attracted to me like this? Tony thought.

"I don't want you to feel like you have to be here. If you think you'll be happier away from me you can always stay in the penthouse. All I want is for you to be comfortable and happy," Tony put out there even though he was terrified that she would want that.