If only memories could be erased (Shoto Todoroki x oc) Rewrite

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Tamaki's pov

I walked home, hands shoved into the pockets of my trousers. I can't believe I messed up like that. I'm never going to be like dad if I make such a basic mistake in a fight. I inwardly groan, refraining from running my hands through my hair repeatedly. I reach the house and push the door open only to be grated by Don't stop me now blaring through the house from the living room speakers. I close the door and walk towards the living room where Hitoshi and Tamaki are sitting.
"Wanna explain why the music is louder than a cat screeching?" I ask. They look at me and both shrug, Tamaki pointing to his ears. I sih.
"WANNA EXPLAIN WHY THE MUSIC IS LOUDER THAN A CAT SCREECHING?" I yell, trying to be heard over the music.
"WE'RE TRYING TO TURN IT DOWN BUT ITS NOT WORKING" Hitoshi responds, turning to the speakers. He pulls them forward and looks behind them. I walk over to the CD player and pull the plug from the back, halting the music altogether.
"I would have figured out how to turn it down you know" Hitoshi grumbled, standing up and letting go of the speakers.
"We're lucky this house was soundproofed otherwise the neighbours would be over here yelling at us" I sigh, remembering what happened before we got the soundproofing done.
"So how'd your spat go?" Hitoshi asks, jumping over the back of one of the couches and sliding down onto the cushions.
"It wasn't a spat. It was just a training fight" I object.
"So he isn't your boyfriend then"
"No. He isn't" I grumble, sitting down on the couch and slouching forward.
I looked up to see Tamaki was looking kind of anxious.
"Tamaki. Come with me" I offer, pushing myself to my feet and walking up the stairs to his room. He follows, closing the door behind him. I sit down on the bed and pat the spot next to me.
"What's wrong?" I ask, looking at him. He looks down at his feet, ears tilting downward.
"I just feel really bad that I couldn't do anything about those guys who came for you. It's my fault that they came after you and it was Hitoshi and the Todoroki who got them to go away. I'm such a failure. I'll never be a good hero" he vents, squeezing the fabric of his trousers in his hands. I pull him close to me, letting him lean his head on my shoulder as I wrap my arms around him to rub his back.
"That's not true. You'll be a great hero one day" I assure him. I can hear a whine from him and hug him closer.
"And it wasn't your fault that they came after me. It's not like you sent them my way. Those guys were just assholes" I add on.
"Dad won't like it if he heard you said that" he sniffles into my shoulder.
"Hey its fine. He didn't hear me. And about those guys. What they said didn't bother me one bt so don't worry about it" I lie. He pulls his head back and looks at me. I give him my best smile, hoping it didn't seem forced. He wiped one eye with his hand.
"Thanks Tamaki" I mumbled.
"Hey its no problem. I'm always willing to lend an ear to by big brother any time" I respond, playfully punching his arm. He gives me a small smile as I stand up.
"I'll be in my room if you need me" I tell him before leaving his room. I walk to my room and open the door, shutting it behind me. Once the door's closed, I lean against it and slide down the door and curl up on myself, hands over my ears. I hated lying to my brothers but I couldn't tell them how I felt. It was just stupid matters that I could deal with alone. Besides, they have their own problems to deal with. They don't need to be weighed down with mine as well. I stand up and walk towards the mirror. I remove my blazer and unbutton my shirt, looking at my reflection. I hate what I see. I'm ugly and fat and I hate it. I turn away, grabbing my pj top from under my pillow and pulling it on over my head. I didn't want to look at myself any longer. I pull up the sleeve to scratch at my arm, the skin prickling with an itch that I couldn't scratch. I pause in my scratching for a minute before unwrapping the bandages on one arm and looking up it. None of the cuts were bleeding. I reach into my bedside cabinet and pick up the razor, looking between the blade and my arm. I lower the blade only to be startled by a knock on my door. I shove it back into my drawer and close it, hiding the slightly stained bandages under my pillow.
"Come in" I call. Dad opens the door and looks at me.
"Tamaki. I heard you had a fight in the gym with Todoroki today" he sighs, holding something in his hand.
"It was training is all" I shrug.
"That must have been heated training if your gym trousers ended up like this" he replies, holding them up and pointing to the torn leg that spots of blood.
"It was just a scratch but please don't go through my stuff" I mumble.
"Well then put your clothes in the laundry and I won't have to go into your bag. I've told you this" he sighs.
"I was going to but I had to talk with Tamaki is all. Plus Hitoshi distracted me when he was blasting don't stop me now from the speakers" I explain.
"Alright. I'll let you off this once. Also, dinner will be ready in about half an hour" he replies, leaving my room and closing the door behind me. I groan. Food was the last thing I wanted but if I didn't eat then I'd worry dad so I didn't have much of a choice about it.