𝐋𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 | 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥𝐬.

Chapter twelve.

Tessa

I was going to be sick. Hardin was going to come home? He was coming back for me?

Sinking into the chair, I reached for the bottle of rum and went to take a drink when Hardin took it. "Let me get you water instead, pumpkin."

Pumpkin. Each time he called me the pet name my lower stomach pulled with want.

Steed opened the refrigerator and looked around for the waters. He handed me one, and I quickly took a drink. "Keep going," I managed to say.

When his hand pushed through that dark brown hair, I had to hold back a moan.

"Um, well, I told Mia I wanted a divorce. She had told me she was on birth control, but even after we got married I kept using condoms."

The idea of Hardin sleeping with another woman nearly killed me. I knew he had of course, but hearing him say it hurt more than I ever dreamed.

"Was she...was she not?"

"I don't know. I'm pretty sure she stopped taking them before we got married. From what I could piece together from her crazy ass friends, Mia saw an article in Texas Monthly that had my parents listed as one of the wealthiest families in Texas. She started talking about us moving to Texas. I knew that was never going to happen. It was then I realized I was lying to myself. I was in love with you still and I needed to get out of the marriage."

I swallowed even though my throat felt like it was coated in cotton. "But she was pregnant?"

Hardin's eyes fell. "Yes. When she told me I felt sick. The only thing I could think was how it was supposed to be you."

He slowly lifted his eyes to meet mine. "You were the woman I dreamed of marrying and having kids with. Even after I left Texas. Mia was nothing but a mistake."

Pressing my lips together, I tried not to start crying again.

"Then the guilt hit. Hard. As much as I wanted to tell her it didn't matter, I was too afraid to make the same mistake. I'd already told her about you. That I could never love her because I'd given my heart to another woman. She insisted the baby would change things. I knew it wouldn't. I was too afraid to upset her though...if she lost the baby it would be my fault. Again."

A tear slipped down his cheek and my heart ached at the sight. "Hardin, it wasn't your fault. Our child wasn't meant to be."

His head dropped and I sat there stunned as I watched his shoulders rock while he cried. "Every damn day I wake up and I think about it, Tessa. There's not...there's not a single day where I don't think about it. I need you to know that."

I couldn't move. I was frozen in place as I watched Hardin grieve for our child. Covering my mouth, I cried along with him.

"There was no fucking way I was doing it again. I couldn't live with myself."

My heart ached.

He wiped his tears and looked back at me. "So I stayed. And she had the baby and then I felt the guilt all over again because I fell madly in love with this...b-beautiful child. But she wasn't...she wasn't your child. I didn't know how to deal with that. I had planned on telling Mia I wanted a divorce after she had the baby, but I wasn't sure how the custody would work. When I did finally tell her, she threatened to take Chloe from me and said I'd never be able to find them."