The Indecent Proposal.

27__TRUST ME

I couldn't remember how long I slept, I definitely witnessed some rays of early sunshine and Asma giving me some meds, moreover now I got a bit conscious and its dark outside. Apart from Innaya, this huge window is a big reason I want to spend my whole day in this room, when the cold December air touches me, I feel like freedom has touched me. The freedom that feels like a miracle now, and miracles don't happen to sinners.

I slept with a man, carried his baby and lied to husband about it. Hammad got egoistic hope from Innaya's birth, the pride of not being infertile, the pride of being a man. I played with his insecurity, I pushed myself in fire. Am I selfish to not think about Izad's feelings? Maybe yes.

But what else can I do, everyday here, I'm fighting for mine and Innays's life. Izad is a long lost chapter here. He should be.

I'll never bother you again

My heart tears at his every word but I can't give him what he wants. He deserves it. He deserves worse, I want him to die like this alone, craving to see his daughter till his last breath. After all he is the one who pushed us here. The clock ticked 3.00 am as I went down to warm Innaya's bottle, I was about to descend down when I saw Izad leing on the terrace, his gaze stucked at the heavy dark clouds. I hate myself for losing every ounce of anger after looking at him, it's his one glance and I'm already submitting.

I shouldn't face him but my mind wasn't registering my actions. " You were leaving today." I yelled. Izad didn't spare me an ounce of attention and kept himself busy in the empty sky, there weren't even any stars out there. " I demand an answer Izad Shah."

" Sorry, I" his voice broked as I saw a single tear sliding down his left eye. " I can't"

" Look at me." I demanded.

He shook his head, I knew it was wrong to still crave his attention but I can't help it. I wonder if it is true that people loses their senses when they love someone. Sometimes Romeo's death feel justified to me. I knelled down, as he refused to move his eyes from the sky, the charm, the attitude his anger everything was vanished. You now see a broken man, who is buried under the weigh of his mistakes and regrets, a man who is tired of being ashamed of his actions.

"Izad." I wisphered, he immediately raised his hand, as I proceeded mine to turn his face.

"You are not mine." Hammad's thousand slaps never hurt this much. "But she is" He just threw the truth at my face, the truth I want to carry till my grave. I don't belong to him. If he want to take Innaya with him, he can. I wish he don't forget me.

" Don't do this Izad, we don't need you." My soul almost left my body, as a shriek left my mouth as he jolted up and grabbed my arm in his iron grip, my bloody eyes ready to ripped me apart in any second.

" you are most welcome to rot here, it's your choice. Not my daughter."

"Oh! And where exactly you gonna take her? To a bar? Or better, sell her to a drug dealer after losing your fucking senses." I bit back as his horrified eyes stared back at me, disgusted and shattered. He may be hurt but not more than me.

"Get your self out my sight." He commanded.

" NO!" I screamed as he pushed me to the floor and stood beside the railing, "I'm not gonna obey your every fucking demand. I'm not puppet"

He smirked as he turned to me " Tell that to your husband"

No way in hell you can dominate this fucker. " Atleast he married and gave me a status in a society, I'm not someone's whore."

" I didn't forced you into anything." This time he lost his senses. " you confessed your feelings you ran after me, you slept with me with your consent. If anything one of these makes you whore, they were your choices, sweetheart"

A blow with an open hand, he definitely deserved a thousand of these slaps. Izad and I hardly got physical and it was too late for me to realise that. I could literally register the red veins in his demonic eyes, my feets turn to leave but how stupid I was to think he can let me go this easily. Within no time I was in his cluster and the one thing I dreaded most in Izad was his anger. "You have no idea what price are you gonna pay for this"

The only defence I can do was to push him away, but that was nothing to his hold. "I'm done Izad, I'm tired of this." I want him even if he is the last person I want to see right now, I still want him but we all know it was as impossible to wish for the stars. My heart started to lose his weight and I exaushted, done fighting with him. I didn't realise when I started to sob but his hold losed on me and I just felt a light kiss on my forehead, his thumbs wiping my tears, another kiss on my cheeks and his heavy breaths on ears, it was the only thing that calmed my heart in these years. His nose just traced my jaw as I stood there froze, I was supposed to stopped him, he will definitely stopped if I tell him to. Izad will never oppose my command. He never ever did. The lips rested on my neck and I wanted nothing than to hide into him. "Just admit that you love me Rayna. Admit that you are more scared of me leaving you here, than taking Innaya away from you." Am I?

"everyone gonna abuse me , spit on me" I confessed.

"Does that really matter ? when I'm here" he interwined our fingers and looked straight through my wet eyes, leaving me with no choice. I slightly shook my head, dropping every fear.

"I love you. Don't leave me here" it was the brightest smile I ever saw on Izad's face.

"I wasn't ever going to" his lips were the sweetest thing that ever touched my mouth, my heart racing between two elements: one fear the other excitement, I didn't think twice this time to lose myself in him, sweetness was a very rare trait in Izad, rough and hard that's the perfect way to describe his intensity, I almost slipped when he bit my lower lip, my arms jumped to his neck and his grip tightened around my back. Moving away we both catched our breaths, his eyes still closed and brows twisted, I knew he was upto something, was he still mad about that slap?

"Do you trust me?" he wasn't looking at me. I shouldn't trust him if I'm smart enough to learn from the past. But I can't.

" You still need any verification?" he slowly raised his eyelashes and stared into my eyes. "I'm ready to die even if you decide to leave me again"

"Over my dead body" He swirled me around my back to the railing as he buried his face to my neck leaving peppry kisses. I sudden jolt of excitement and fear ran through me, my heart taking a down loop as his hands explored my body and pulled my losed T-shirt down from one shoulder, I was occupied under my own emotions and how my body reacted to his touch, not realizing when he removed his shirt until my hands touched his bare skin, at the very moment realization how much I have missed and craved his touch. He again went up to my ear, "just trust me this time, don't let any thoughts come to your mind" I have no idea why is he repeating the same thing again, not in a moment of talking I just him pulled to me as the sweet sound of his chuckles filled the air.

"IZAD!!" the moment was immediatey broke as we heared Beenish yell from behind.

"Everything's on me" he whispered and winked, wearing his shirt back before turning back to her.