Splatoon Splatroad Nightroad: How The Noir Stole Squidmas

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Story: Nightroad/OCs

Creator: me

Fun fact I wrote this last year (2019)

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Everyone down in I.S liked Squidmas a lot.

But the Noir who lived just South of I.S did not!

The Noir hated Squidmas! The whole Squidmas season!

But we don't ask why, no one quite knows the reason.

It could be maybe his chestplate was too tight.

It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.

But we think that the most likely reason of all

May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

But, whatever the reason, whatever he did,

He stood there on Squidmas Eve hating the squid,

Staring down from his cave with a sour, Noiry frown

At the warm festive decor below in their town,

For he knew every Squid down in I.S beneath

Was busy now hanging a hollykelp wreath.

"And they're hanging their stockings," he snarled with a sneer.

"Tomorrow is Squidmas! It's practically here!"

Then he growled, with his Noir fingers nervously drumming,

"I must find some way to keep Squidmas from coming!

For, tomorrow, I know all the squid girls and boys

Will wake bright and early. They'll rush for their toys!"

And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!

That's one thing he hated! All the NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!

Then the squids young and old, would sit down to a feast. And they'd feast! And

they'd feast! And they'd FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!

They would feast on squid-pudding, and rare suqid-roast-beast, which was

something the Noir couldn't stand in the least!

And THEN they'd do something he liked least of all!

Every squid down in I.S, the tall and the small

Would stand close together, Squidmas music ringing.

They'd stand hand-in-hand, and those squids would start singing!

They'd sing! And they'd sing! And they'd SING! SING! SING! SING!

The more the Noir thought of this Inkantation,

The more the Noir thought, "I must get this thing done!

Why for all of my life I've put up with it now!

I must stop Squidmas from coming! But how?"

Then he got an idea! An awful idea!

The Noir got a wonderful, awful idea!

"I know just what to do!" The Noir laughed in his throat.

"I'll make a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat."

And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Noiry trick!

With this coat and this hat, I look just like Saint Nick!"

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