Color Me Blue (narry)

let people love you

"Mason, I'm fine." Niall watches him hover around the room pretending he's doing something just to stay in there with him, which was very unnecessary. He was okay. "You can go and paint."

"Thing is," Mason wasn't sure how to tell Niall he had called his baby daddy and had given him the address. He's been checking the time constantly, knowing Harry was going to arrive in less than an hour. "You passed out, man."

"I should've eaten before work. I'm sorry I worried you and Luna." He sighs fidgeting with the soft blanket.

"Don't apologize, that's just ridiculous. It's not as if you did it on purpose, shit happens." He goes over to the bed and sits down by Niall's legs. "I really care about you and that baby. And if I'm being honest, I think you shouldn't work anymore."

"Mason, please don't start with that. I like working and I like being able to pay for my things. I don't like anyone taking care of me." Niall looks down at Mason's hand that rested on his knee.

"Can I read you a poem?" Mason smiles when he nods, he quickly goes to fetch the small book and comes back sitting back down. "It's one of my favorite books and I think you'll love it as much as I do. Okay, ready?" He waits for Niall to nod then takes a deep breath before reading. "I just wanted you to know that I'll never care how far you push me away, because when I told you that I would stay, I meant it. You're a little lost and a little damaged but you're not hopeless. I know who you are, I love who you are, and that's why I'll stay, so you learn to love yourself too." He slowly looks up at Niall and sees that he had looked away.

"I— uh..."

"Niall, I've noticed you tend to withdraw from people who start to care and love you. And I might not know you that well to say this, please do forgive me if I'm wrong, but, it seems to me that you see yourself as a burden." He says carefully, he didn't want to upset him. "I'm only saying this because I used to be like you. I used to push people away, feel like I didn't deserve their love, friendship, kindness, them, like I didn't deserve them. Now that I think back to all the friendships I lost, pisses me off. I was so worried about being a burden to someone I didn't notice I was only pushing people who gave a shit about me away. And the people who cared less about me, I kept them close. I sacrificed my happiness for them."

"Mason," Niall had unshed tears in his eyes but he refused to cry.

"My mom died giving birth to me, my father remarried when I was only one. I've always been an introvert, I liked being alone and doing things differently from others. I liked things that were quite questionable, like I loved painting my nails, playing with people's hair, makeup, things that according to society weren't okay for boys to like. My father didn't like that, he thought I was a freak. He still thinks I'm one but I don't care. Anyway, I was sent to an all boys boarding school for most of my childhood and I hated it. They wouldn't let me express myself the way I wanted to, once I turned eighteen I left that school. I had to move back home because I had no money, probably the worst years of my life. I was... they fucked with my head. Made me believe I was someone who didn't deserve love and happiness. That I was a burden. I was a fucking mess until I met a guy who was a painter, I dated him a few years and he showed me that I could express myself through painting. It helped me so much, although he and I didn't work out I really am grateful he showed me to just be myself. Niall, I don't know what you've been through but I know you're hurting. You can talk to me."

Niall was now a crying mess, he scoots so he could wrap his arms around Mason. "My... My parents," He buries his face in his shoulder.

"I'm right here, Niall, it's okay." Mason soothes him. "You don't have to tell me if you're not ready to talk about it."