Thank You

Magic

I silently slip out of the house. I tip toe on the cotton-looking floor ; the grey world I grew up in seems so much softer when covered in this magical white coat. It almost looks comforting, unlike the sad landscapes that tackled me for years and years, and in this moment, I wish the snow would never stop falling.

My mother softened at the sight of the snow, leaving the ripped out pieces of paper fall on the ground to press her own face against the cold glass of the kitchen window. I could see her eyes shining, as much for the excitement that these snowflakes woke up in her than for the tears that lurked in her eyes because of the memories. I hadn't moved a bit, my eyes dryer than ever. She hadn't addressed the incident during the evening.

Even though my heart was aching, and I couldn't stop the hate flowing in my veins at some moments, I had kept my head low the whole time I shared with my mom. Nodding, smiling, giving the same presents again, just another Christmas spent - if not in the most demoralizing way - in a hurried way. We wouldn't show it but both of us would want it to end.

And eventually it did. It ended. And when that happened, she just said her usual goodnight, and I knew I would go. I knew no matter what had happened earlier, I would go out, like I did every night, only this time I wouldn't be alone in the dark.

I take a couple steps on the snow-covered path. Oh ! does life seem better on this Christmas day. For the first time in so long my heart doesn't feel so heavy ; it doesn't feel light - that I guess it will never do - but yet not the pounding weight it usually feels like. I could almost start to dance.

Time seems to fly faster, and what used to feel like hours feels like seconds, and this way in only seconds I am back in this old bus that I only enjoy by night. I only enjoy it now.

I sit in the back, near the broken window as always, and press my cheek against the glass. That it is dirty or shattered doesn't mean a thing to me tonight, all my focus and dreams are into the small snowflakes that keep on falling. One of them falls into the hole created by the broken window and lays softly on the tip of my nose. I smile. I smile. It seems like it is the first time I do it, almost as if I had forgotten how to do it, or that I had never been taught how to do it. This is the only magic I need.

The roaring of the old creaking bus seems to be the only noise troubling the peace of this magical night. If I know the way by heart, tonight's ride will forever be carved into my memories. Snow doesn't stop falling, covering everything in its white powder, and never could I ever get tired of it.

I set foot on a whole other world, a world of white purity, just as if all the darkness had been wiped out in a matter of hours. The couple steps I took only a few days ago seem new, and the path is nothing like I've ever seen it be like. I wish I wasn't the only witnessing it.

I slowly walk under the white sparkles falling from the sky, taking a path I haven't taken for years now on Christmas Day. The theatre looks all the more majestic under the white coating. My throat dries a little as I desperately wish they could see it with me tonight. But maybe would this seem less magical if it wasn't in these days.

She's staring at me. I can feel her before I can spot her. Her blue eyes piercing through me, she's slightly smiling at my awe standing in front of the monument. She doesn't move a bit when she sees me noticing her, and I move towards her, glitters in my eyes.

"Merry Christmas."

Her voice slips inside of me like raging wave of sweet warmness. Oh ! did I miss hearing it. These two words echo in my mind, making the most beautiful music of all. No other sound could ever compare to it.

"Merry Christmas," I quietly answer.

She smiles at my shy words contrasting with the darker, stronger aura that comes out of me. Seeing her smiling is the only thing I'd need to be alive.  And she might have been keeping me alive for a couple days now, as stupid and foolish as it may sound.

"Should we go in ?"

She tilted her head towards the entrance as she said those words. She looks so breathtakingly gorgeous, her hair slightly messy, sprinkled with dozens of snowflakes, her pale and perfect skin only pink on the tip of her nose, the long lashes hovering over her bright blue eyes, these bewitching eyes. Her long grey coat smartly cover her slender body and underneath it I can discern a white turtleneck and a silver necklace. The edges of her lips folded, forming a small grin, she looks at you and your silence.

"I don't have my ticket."

She chuckles and a glimmer of an ineffable feeling sparks in her eyes. She takes one of her hands out of her side pocket and seize one of mine, drawing me in the direction of the theatre.

"That's okay. I have about ten just for me."

She doesn't add anything before walking straight to the crowded entrance. She doesn't let go of my hand, and neither do I. Her flow of warmness and incredible softness invades me from the simple touch of her skin. Each second I feel her against me is a blessed one, and my fingers seem to burn gently. She slides through the crowd under the protestation, the shock and the admiration, and each step she takes I follow. Do I know who she is ?

"Don't let go of me."

How could I ?

"I don't want you lost."

I don't want to lose your touch.

"Hold on a second."

She approaches one of the gates to the venue and only needs a nod to get both of us in, stepping in strongly. Her hand still holding mine, she makes her way to the side of the theatre, stopping a few inches away from a red velvet curtain bordered by an intricate gold pattern. Only now does she let go of me and a sensation of freezing cold invades me, as if my heart suddenly skipped a few beats, getting me closer to death than life. But her smile is all I need for my blood to ferociously flood right back into my veins. What wouldn't she be able to do ?

"Here we are, darling."

Darling. My head spins, it could hurt if she wasn't around.

Her smile increases as she puts her hand through the curtain to open it. She pulls one of the golden strings on the side to hold the red material in position and walks aside so as to let me enjoy the view.

"Merry Christmas again."

I walk into one of the only two boxes of the theatre. A childhood dream. I used to watch the rich people carelessly sit in those with Ro, and we wouldn't take our eyes off them before the light would go off. What a dream it would be to be in their shoes, we would tell each other. What a sad dream to go in without him. What a relief she is next to me. The chairs are made of the same material as the curtain, as are the floor, walls and balcony. A small black table carved in gold is set in the middle, offering all kinds of drinks and snacks. I walk towards the edge of the box and take a good look at all the cheerful people sat all over the theatre. This is what Christmas really is to me, and this is why it never felt like Christmas all this time at home. This is what magic means. I delight in this magical feeling floating all around. The lights go down.

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k so i ac wrote this a while ago but it's funny i post this now bc it snowed last week which earned me a week out of school yeehee and itv hadn't snowed like that in so long bc it never snows here and so everything i wrote ab snow being so fckn magical i feel it i rly do
i hope you liked it hehehehe
-lou~