I stay quiet as she gathers all the last bits of the shattered mug on the ground. It was thrown hard on the wall, leaving a large brownish stain on the old tapestry. I stay quiet as she washes off some of the blood that dried on her alabaster skin. I stay quiet as she realizes that the hole in her turtleneck shows the bruises once hidden underneath. I stay quiet as she switches the lights off and leads me outside the room, the house, and inside her car. I stay quiet as the engine starts to roar, and the car speeds off, far from the house I don't wish to ever set foot in again.
We're driving off into the night, more slowly than necessary, and the fact that even after what happened just instants before, she still thinks of me, and what would make me feel better, makes my heart tighten. I never cared much for dangerous driving after a while, not caring about my own life anymore, but I know she cares. The car ride is silent, and both of us are staring at the white road ahead of us, not daring to steal a glance from each other. We know how much we want to devour each other with our eyes, finding a little bit of comfort after a harsh night, but she keeps on driving for what feels like hours.
Her driving that slow makes me feel guilty more than anything. Who knows what will wait for her at her house when she gets back after such a long time ? What will happen ? I suppress a cry at the thought of her being fatally hurt because of me, and it comes out of my mouth with a small yelp. I cover my mouth with my hand, lowering my head, and I can instantly feel Cate turn briskly to look at me. Without a word, she parks the car on the side of the road, not without paying attention to whether it would be safe to stop here or not. As soon as the engine stops growling, she unbuckles her seat belt and turns her whole body towards me so as to take my face between her beautiful hands. She looks gorgeous in the moonlight, even with her face damaged, and the last of the snowflakes that I can see falling outside by the window make her look like a painting. The bruises hurt to watch, but she could never not be breathtaking.
"Before the thought enters your brain, this was not your fault. I think you have already guessed that this is something that has been going on for a while now, and if I hadn't come back with you tonight, this would have probably been the outcome anyway. And if he hadn't been violent tonight, it would have been tomorrow, or the day after. Having you in my house was the greatest thing to happen tonight, and I would not change it. I would not take anything back. Not anything that was good anyway. Do not blame yourself. We cannot have that. I can't. You are the greatest thing to have happened to me in the last... well," she pauses in a dry chuckle, "I can't even remember how long it has been. And when we saw each other earlier this week, I thought I might burst. I had finally found something, someone to be grateful for. My sons are the reason why I am still alive to this day, but lately, even them have not seem to be enough not keep me going. And you, my darling, brought back some life inside me. Well. Not the only one, but... The point is, I just want to apologize for what you witnessed tonight. I am fine. Nothing happened that was out of the ordinary for me, quite sadly."
She sighs and bites her upper lip, one of her hands still resting on the side of your face.
"Cate."
Her eyes seem to be a different shade of blue. Still indescribable, still fascinating, but so different.
"You are not fine."
"Diana, darling, don't wor..."
"You've worried about enough for me to do the same."
Her mouth stays slightly open after I cut her off. She looks so beautiful, yet so fragile now.
"This is not okay. It can't go on. You have to get out of this house. What he's done to you... What he is doing to you, it can't go on ! He's going to hurt you again when you go back there. He's going to hit you again, he's going to try to abuse you again, he's going to k..." I choke on my last words, an ineffable feeling rising inside of me.
She smiles warmly but ever so sadly to me, her thumb stroking my cheek softly.
"I can't leave my children there, my darling."
The nickname gives me butterflies every time I hear it.
"I have to go back. I do not have a choice."
I wish I could cry, make it look so heartbreaking she could not leave me when I begged her. My insides are churning with rage. My body feels on fire. I'm shaking with fear, worry and anger. I want to scream. Why would the world send the worst of it all to the people who deserve it the least ? Why so cruel ? I look at her and all I see is goodness coming out of her. She deserves all the best but got the worst. If I have pondered over the injustice of life before, this is what takes up all the space in my mind now. I want to yell at the Heavens to make it all change, but I have tried that before, and I never got any response, but more darkness thrown back at me. I would life a life of misery for her to escape, I would give my life for her. I would die for her.
The engine starts again while I am staring vaguely at the road through the windshield. We're driving in silence again, but my head is buzzing. I cannot let her go back. I have to act for once. I cannot be passive again. I cannot just sit and watch all over again. I have to put a stop to this. I cannot lose her. Not her. I would give my life to save her over and over again, forever if I needed to. I simply cannot do anything else. I love her too much to see her gone too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
listen. why not release this too? no but really, i have another chapter ready after this one already, and i am in the middle of writing the next, so yes. i have been productive for you guys, and you are getting a lot of updates in the next few days.
i fixed my storyline issues and i basically know where we are going until the end of this story, and we're still going to get heavy, but you will see.
i once again apologize for the mention of such heavy trauma, but writing heavy stuff is what i'm best at, if you're still reading this or have read my other stories you must know that by now
YOU ARE READING
Thank You
Fanfiction'You've got to be grateful for the good things you have in life. Otherwise you'll die. A single thank you can save a life.' Cate Blanchett/OC (GxG)
