Spencer Reid Took My Life

twenty-one. Peter

Peter.
That was his name.
You had snuck out from underneath him and found his wallet. His name was Peter Hollingsworth and he was a lawyer, you had found his card. And then you heard movement.

You quickly crawled back into bed and pretended to wake up as he did.

"Hey, good morning pretty" He rolled over onto his stomach and burrowed himself into your bed while maintaining eye contact with you. You gave him a small smile back,

At least he seems nice, now how the hell do I get him to leave?

You racked your brain trying to think of anything to say to him, this was the best you could come up with.

"So... last night..." You let out an awkward chuckle as the memories finally flood back.

He came up behind you at the club and you danced with him, he was nice, very polite. And once the two of you started flirting he stopped buying you drinks and started buying you water. And then you took him home.

The feelings of where his hands had touched you rushed over your body. He had been gentle and pretty decent.

If I'm going to sleep around instead of dealing with my emotions, at least I can pick em

You finally jumped out of your train of thoughts as he spoke back to you finally.

"Uh.. last night was good, at least it was for me?" He said it like a question, trying to gauge how you felt about it. You nodded and smiled as you felt him move a little bit closer. It felt nice to feel his warmth and have someone smiling at you. And so you let yourself drift into it a bit.

~~~~~~

While still very reserved with your feelings, you had started to spend more time with Peter, and while you couldn't let go of Spencer, Peter gave you moments where you didn't have to think about him. Those moments came far and few but it was enough to put a smile on your face every once in a while. And after a couple weeks of hanging out with Peter, the team noticed.

"So, Y/n, are you going to let us in on mystery man this time? Or did you make it into another member of the team's pants?" Emily came over with her cup of coffee and placed her self onto the corner of your desk. You didn't see that Spencer's head had just slightly moved up, clearly no longer focusing on paperwork, and actually focusing on your conversation.

" He's just a guy, he's nice but I don't know if I'm ready for a relationship." You could tell Emily was profiling you at this moment.

"Tell me his name y/n" Emily gave you this unfaltering look until you couldn't help yourself.

"Peter" The corners of your mouth twinged up in just the slightest, Emily hadn't even picked up on it, but Spencer had, and he knew what he needed to do. You had no idea what was coming.

When work ended Spencer asked if you would stay behind for a little. He paced as you sat at your desk. After a couple of minutes, he finally sat down and began doing the most hurtful thing he had ever done to you.

"Y/n I didn't want to have to tell you this. I wanted to live in a perfect world where I would never have to say this because it's nothing but cruel. But it is the truth. Obviously, you know we had our issues, but I always combated those by saying I love you. And in my journey of sobriety, and in the value of what is left of our friendship, I need to be honest. I know that night before we broke up I said I would tell you everything. But I left something out. I never loved you. Not really. I mean I love you as a friend but I was never truly in love with you. It was always the illusion of the drugs, I wasn't myself, I wasn't capable of loving you. It wasn't real."