What Have I Done and What Am I Going to Do Now? (A teacher/student mishap)

Chapter 11: Mission Accomplished

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Recap chap 10:

In the stillness of the night, I fell asleep in the arms of a man I loved as a friend, but was not in love with, which was wrong, considering that I was pretty sure that he was in love with me, but wouldn't or couldn't ever admit it.

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Chapter 11: Mission Accomplished

I spent the rest of the week avoiding Rivers like nobody's business. I had no desire to see him, talk to him or even be in the same room with him. It was unimaginably difficult though, since he was my professor and I had no choice but to attend his class three days a week. I hated him as a person and the fact that I felt so betrayed by him. It was a hard pill to swallow, much less not regurgitate, every time I was in his presence.

Rivers could have told me he was married in the first place, told me a month ago when it first happened and we met as teacher and student, then I think I would have understood. I mean, he was drunk and I was drunk so that could have been forgiven. But he continued to pursue me, flirted and conveyed attraction, and acted like he cared, all while lying to my face because he was married and my teacher. For that, I was hurt and forgiveness was out of the question.

I wanted to punch him in his sexy face, not that I wanted to believe that I still found him sexy, but I did. That would have ruined all of Nash and Alec's fun though since it was their job, as my friends and surrogate brothers, to beat up the people who hurt me, not mine. It happened once or twice in the past, not that I wanted anyone else harmed on my account, but there were times when it was unavoidable. They protected me, especially after the mess Soren caused. That poor woman dying was more than enough to ruin my life and there was certainly cause to make Soren pay for it. But as far as Rivers was concerned, I wasn't opposed to the brother's scaring him a little, just as long as it never got physical.

So I did feel a bit guilty when Rivers returned to class on Friday with a black eye and a busted lip. I almost wanted to cry, when I surveyed his gorgeous face and saw the damage first hand. He had definitely been worked over and I knew they did it. Who else would it have been under these circumstances? Although it seemed like he deserved it, I did not want him damaged. Why would they do this when I begged them not to? I was really upset that his sexy face was harmed and even more pissed that the boys lied to me about this. They knew better than to go against my wishes, or at least I thought they were smarter than that.

Rivers may have been an asshole, a cheat and possibly deserving, but that didn't negate the fact that I still had feelings for him, crazy mixed up feelings that I should never have had for a professor, a married professor at that. I couldn't deny that I felt something for him, passion, lust, or pure magnetism, I wasn't sure which. Even if my feelings were unrequited, it didn't mean he should suffer for it. Yes, it may have been his fault that I didn't know his story, but maybe Mira was right after all. Maybe I should have let him explain.

I glared at Nash who sat next to me and he responded with a confused shrug. Was he really going to pretend that he had no hand in this? That was obviously not the case given the messed up state of Rivers' face. I was sadden and sickened by the thought of someone hurting Fenix in such a way, though the thought had crossed my mind a time or two. But that was the hurt talking, not my sensibility and I didn't condone violence, especially when I had been at the receiving end before. An impulsive fist fight was one thing, but a premeditated, malicious beat down was another, even if it was for a chivalrous cause.

Yet there I sat, feeling unimaginably guilty, again, when my eyes landed on Fenix's face. His ice blue eyes were intense as they stared back at me momentarily, before I averted my gaze. They spoke to me in a language only I could hear. They said 'I'm sorry, please let me explain' but I wasn't sure if I could because I felt so betrayed. Was I really ready to hear it? The fact that he almost begged to talk about it gave me a pang of remorse and made me rethink the situation. Maybe I was too hard on him and judged with my heart before he had a fair trail.