What Have I Done and What Am I Going to Do Now? (A teacher/student mishap)

Chapter 15: Rivers Rampage

Check out the video. I love this song & it really fits for the hallway scene =D I think it sums up Jade's thoughts and feelings perfectly.

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Recap ch 14:

“You know what? Maybe you don’t regret it, but I do!” I said without turning back to look at him. I didn’t want him to see the tears that started falling. I left the room, slamming the door in frustration and closing in the part of my life that involved Rivers.

I couldn’t do this anymore. It didn’t matter how hard it was, or how much it hurt. I was going to walk away and forget about Mr. Jackson Fenix Rivers… forever.

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Chapter 15: Rivers Rampage

After my fight with the King of the World, Mr. Jackson Fenix Rivers, I stomped angrily into the apartment followed by Nash and Alec. I paced the room relentlessly to burn off my fury. Who the hell did he think he was treating me that way? What a freaking asshole. What did I ever see in him? What kind of drugs was I on when I had sex with him?

Oh, right. I was drunk. Well that explains my lack of judgment. Thankfully, I hadn’t touched a bottle in 5 weeks, since the night I made the stupidest mistake in my life. I realize that alcohol slows the brain, but I must have been so shit-faced that I didn’t care what or who I was doing.

My life has been nothing but complications and problems ever since then. One thing after another has tumbled down on me, bringing the wrath of God, or whoever has been punishing me for that little transgression. If I could only forget all of what has occurred in the past several weeks, then maybe I would be alright, but I couldn’t forget it. I’m sorry I made a mistake, but did I really have to suffer this much for it?

Did I have to like a guy who was my teacher and married? Did I have to have a best friend I wasn’t capable of loving, but most probably loved me? Did I have to have a heart condition that suddenly became a persistent problem? Did I have to have a psycho stalker ex-fiancé who enjoyed hurting me both physically and mentally and wanted nothing more than to hurt my friends and kill innocent people just to scare me into going back to him?

Why me? Why does all of this shit fall down on me?

I should have stuck to my birthday tradition and slept with Nash. That would have been so much simpler than the current hell I was living. To think I was worried about Fenix, that I cared if Soren hurt him. What I wouldn’t give to hurt him myself right now. Just as the thought entered my mind, Mira burst through the door and threw her purse on the floor.

I glared at her, though my anger was misplaced, and immediately felt awful. I started pacing again, nearly running down the soles on my shoes by the amount of walking around I was doing.