All A Joke (Eren X Reader) {Modern AU}

\19/

Y/N POV

It was early Monday evening. Jean had texted me if he could come over. I told him that was fine.

Since my mom was home I had to let her know he was going to he coming over. She had no problem with it but seemed a little irritated.

There was a knock at the door and I went to open it. There stood Jean.

"Hey,  come on in." I told him. Then I called out to my mom.

"Mom, Jean is here. We'll be in my room!"

"Keep your door open!" She called back.

We went into my room and of course left my door open. She's really the only one that has set that rule. Yesterday when Eren stopped by my dad didn't mind if the door was closed. That's probably cause he knew I was a mess. 

"Your mom seems to be in a better mood from the last time I came over." Jean chuckled.

"She was irritated earlier. She just puts up a front." I told him.

"Anyway, how are you feeling? Any better today?" He asked concerned.

"Yeah today I feel much better. I think it's cause I had more time to be alone. I wont say that I'm 100% or even 85% but I'm doing better. I actually cleaned myself up today and made my bed and cleaned around my room a bit." I motioned to around my room.

"Yeah I can tell. I'm glad to hear you are doing better." He said with a smile.

"And I think I should tell you. Eren stopped by yesterday."

"He what? And you let him in?" He seemed frazzled.

"Well I didn't let him in. My dad did. I was in bed moping around and he just said I had a visitor. I assumed it was you until he spoke up."

"Well then what happened? Are you ok?" He sounded very concerned at this point.

"Yeah I'm fine. I just wasn't expecting it and I freaked out. I had a panic attack and he had calmed me down. It was weird but I calmed down in I want to say 3 minutes. And then he apologized about Friday. Then he said that if I would give him another chance, if and when I was ready for Th at, he'll be around. That he still wants something between us. But I told him how it's hard for me to trust him. And he seemed to understand. I don't know if he'll accept that and give up. Or if he'll still pursue some sort of friendship with me."

Jean looked as if he was thinking. After a few moments he spoke up.

"And how do you feel? Do you want something to happen between the two of you, romantic or not?"

"Well, I trusted him last time. I'm still hurting about how things played out. I don't trust him Any more, But there is no say that I won't trust him for the rest of my days. I don't see his intentions as pure right now, but what if he really does want to be my friend. Maybe the bullying will stop. I'm scared of him, but eventually I can try again." I said to him.

"You really want to take your chances on getting hurt again? Y/N I'm sorry but that's dumb. I don't think you should try and associate with Eren like that. He hurt you once that doesn't mean he won't hurt you again. You seem like you are just trying to find those pure intentions in him and don't want to see Every thing else around him. What if he's just playing mind games with you. I want just sit back and let that play out. What if he just wants you to suffer. Have you ever thought about that?" He raised his voice.

He had a point. I was being s little dumb and trying to look for pure intentions in Eren. When there probably isn't any. What if I'm just being played.

"Listen, I shouldn't have gotten loud with you. I just worry about you is all. I don't want to see you get hurt. Especially when it's something I can prevent. I just don't think associating with Eren is the best idea for you. I've known him since we were kids. He has some good parts in him, but I don't think this is one of them. Its best to not let him in... At least that's what I think you should do. You are your own person and should make your own decision. Whichever you choose, even if I don't agree with it, I'll support it. I have to accept it and move on. I'm not gonna sit here and tell you what you can and can't do. That wouldn't be cool of me to do" he said softly to me.

"I'll try and be smart with it. I don't see myself accepting him in for a while. At least that's the plan. I appreciate you worrying about me though. It means a lot to me." I smiled at him and gave him a hug.

"Of course I'm going to worry about you. You mean a lot to me. I'm not just going to stand to the side while you are out there trying to find your way." He said while hugging me back.

"Oh and I had to tell my dad about Eren. He apologized for letting him in the house in general. That if he had known he would have told him to leave. He also said he won't let him come in the house anymore. As long as I don't want him here." I told Jean.

"Its good to know that he is aware of what happened. Does your mom know?"

"I didn't tell her straight up, but she knows that I was sad. Unless my dad told her something about it which is very unlikely."

After that Jean stayed for another hour and a half. We talked about random things and how Connie lost a bet with Sasha so for 3 weeks, He's going to be going to school in a full on suit and tie. He was asking around for ties to have a new one everyday.

I felt much better. I laughed with Jean quite a bit while he was here. It felt nice. I think I am ready to go back to school tomorrow.

I feel close to 85% good.

I think tomorrow will be a decent day.