Smile Flower

25

Things had been happening lately but the author was too lazy to write those.It has been over five years since the incident happened.

Over those days you had learnt to accept what happened to you and your husband who had been sitting in the hospital,desperately praying for you to recover and understand the whole situation.

But Suna Rintarou was growing tired.Sitting all day at the hospital Bed,writing multiple letters to be sent to you by Osamu.You still kinda don't forgive Osamu about the delayed letters.If he had been sending them correctly then you've known that Suna was suffering.

Suna suffered depression after you left him leaving two kids alone.You felt bad about that but hey,you can't control yourself.

Despite cutting all ties with him suddenly makes him think that you never loved him.He was desperate for you but you left him without thinking anything.

You can't accept yourself after knowing that.Reading all the unsent letters made you realized that he had been suffering alone and thinking that you had never loved him.

He may look someone strong but deep inside he had his heart broke into pieces.He didn't show it despite trying to look brave and strong for his kids who he gave a very beautiful life.

He was the best father.yet,after feeling lonely every night while he lays down on his bed staring at the ceiling,waiting for you every night and hour.He couldn't bear it any longer.

He tried to overdosed himself thinking that it'll caught your attention.But,you never even knew.

He had tried so many times to kill himself but luckily attempts were a failure thanks to Osamu who had been looking for him.

But things was going out of hand.He ended up at a mental hospital.Yes,after months he thankfully recovered.But,it happened again and this time he locked the doors as he cuts himself in the bathroom.

It was too late to save him.

You may have not really understand yourself but doctors had diagnosed you with a mental sickness called Multiple Personality disorder.

multiple personality disorder (MPD), is a mental disorder characterized by the maintenance of at least two distinct and relatively enduring personality states. The disorder is accompanied by memory gaps beyond what would be explained by ordinary forgetfulness.

The sickness is likely caused by many factors, including severe trauma during early childhood usually extreme, repetitive physical, sexual, or emotional abuse.

It's has been still going on and you're still suffering from it.But you tried to control yourself even though it seems impossible.

You have now the responsibility of a mother.You had been taking care of your kids which are grownups and healthy.

It's very heartwarming to see them grow up.Now you wonder this is what Suna had felt too.

You've accepted that everything was your fault.If you had been sending him letters back he would have been with you right now.

You were looking at the skies,bright stars reflecting at your eyes.Sitting at the bench in a cold night alone.

You've been sitting at the same spot for almost an hour now.Even though you're clearly alone,you can feel Suna's presence beside you.

Remembering those times where he would blow cigarettes at this night makes you smile in pain.

You knew that you've messed up.But you were fixing everything now.

Things have been caught up.Now,you're staring on the ground where a memory capsule was buried.Deciding whenever to dig for it or not.

You should had been opening the jar together with Rintarou now.But,here you are.Holding the dirty thing at you hands,eyes tearing up at the thing on your sight.Remembering all the crazy things you had done with him when you two were teenagers.

You smiled while tears formed in your eyes.You gently opened the jar.Seeing two,no wait.Three papers inside.

You were confused,you only remembered two papers since that day.maybe he added another one?.

Hands were shaking when you slowly opened his letter.

hello lol,

What age do you think the two of us will be opening the letters again?My guess will be 89 years old lol.I can guarantee you that I will always love and be there for you until we die.

y/n I know you won't understand your own situation but my love for you will never change.Im being fucking cringe right now but don't blame me for loving you lololol

You know,every night I'd always look forward each days with you.I never regretted loving you at the first place.I know you have a mental sickness but I'll be ready to suffer and lose anything for you.People would not understand you but I'll be here to listen to you always.

I pray that you'll heal and there will be a cure to your sickness.You had been suffering too much that's why I have the feeling that I wanted to protect you.

One day I'll kneel down and put a ring to your finger.One day I'll have kids with you.One day The two of us will see your children grow together.One day we'll see each other with white hair^^

I'll promise to never give up on you not like your parents did.Ill never forgive them.They're the cause of your sickness if you know that.

I'll love you always and forever.The moon is beautiful,isn't?

Silly,that means I love you.

Your heart was beating so fast.Pain pierces through your skin.You were sobbing uncontrollably.You never knew that his whole world matter to only you.

Guilt and regrets were flowing around you.You had your mind in splits.You opened the second letter while you try to control your tears.

Only if you haven't got the sickness.Only if you understand yourself.Only if you were a healthy person,none of this painful things would hurt.The two of you would get a happy ending.