I should go > l.s

part 10

  As the water covered my face and cut off any form of oxygen for me I felt happy, soon i would be free, I would be happy and I would be with my mom, I wouldn't have to wake up every morning wondering if i was going to get beat up today by Louis and his friends. I wouldn't have to wake up.

Amelia and james wouldn't have to worry about me, they could foster a new child, someone easier to take care of instead of a suicidal faggot. Doing this would make hem happy, doing this would free them.

Louis, Louis wont have to deal with me, yeah he might be upset because he has nobody to bully but he wouldn't have to deal with me and my problems. I wouldn't have to wonder if we are friends or if we're more, and i wouldn't get my heart broken. Yeah im gonna miss him but I'll have my mom, and i can always watch over him. I can take care of him.

I'm gonna miss Zayn and Niall though, they are my bestfriends. They mean everything to me and are one of the only reasons I've lived this long, I don't want to hurt them, I don't want them to think this was their fault I just want them to be happy and what I'm doing wont do that but it's too late to turn back now. They are gonna think i gave up, and thats exactly what I did. They are gonna think I'm weak, because I am.

They are gonna think it was Louis' fault, but it's not, I just couldn't handle life anymore. I have been breaking slowly for a long time now, what happened in the hallway was just the last straw. It's ot why im ending my life though. This day has been bound to happen for a while now, I know I should have ended it that day a few weeks ago.

Die faster would you

The voices are back

Nobody is coming to save you

I thought they would stop

you fucking deserve this

They are getting what they want

You're worthless

They can't get what they want

You're an ugly fag

I wont let them

Weak

I wont be known as weak, or worthless, I can't.

I decided I wasn't going to let them win and attempted to get out of the water but my lungs were already full of the liquid. In the rashness of the moment I began flinging my arms about, I pushed with my arms and legs but I could find no leverage, for all I knew I was only making myself weaker

My body was fighting for every last bit of air that I could get, I started to panic as my chest began to hurt with my head following soon after. I was getting tired and there wasn't much I could do to save myself. I wanted to cry out for help but I couldn't bring enough air into my lungs I was trapped, I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't save myself from what was doomed to happen next.

I gave into the darkness and let the water take me.

Niall's POV

I watched as Harry ran down through the halls out of the small window on the class door and quickly got out of my seat and tried to leave the class to see what was going on.

"Niall I'm going to need to take a seat the bell will ring in around 5 minutes" The teacher scolded me. To which I rolled my eyes at and ran out the door only to see Louis running from the other side of the hall towards me and Zayn walked up to me from behind because I'm guessing he saw Harry aswell.

"Niall, Zayn where did Harry go I said something really bad and I dont want him to hurt himself" He panted clearly out of breath, "What the fuck did you say to him?" I nearly shouted and he flinched at my tone.