I should go > l.s

Part 14

Harry's POV

He loves me.

That's all I could think about since Louis said it. I don't even know what love is, how am I supposed to know if I love him back?

I didn't realize when I started shaking violently or breathing rapidly until Daniel turned to me as we were walking back from the cafeteria.

"Haz are you okay? You're breathing weird" He said to me. Haz. Louis calls me Haz. Louis loves me. Does Daniel love me too? What have I done?

I started a tingling sensation throughout my body and could feel sweat dripping down my face at this point.

"Harry seriouslyare you okay?" Daniel whispered.

Am I ok? Me? Why wouldn't I be ok? Is Louis ok? Oh my god Louis I never replied to Louis he hates me now he has to I would hate me to.

I just wish I hadn't been so rude. I just wanna let all my defences down and scream until he hears me. I cant lose Louis but he won't love me anymore.

With the blink of an eye I was a heap on the floor rocking myself back in fourth, chills running down my spine as Daniel tried to help me but he couldn't. Only Louis could help me and I just lost him.

I cried until I couldn't anymore, just rocking myself back in fourth while Daniel sat in front of me trying to help, his words were muffled and I couldn't tell what he was saying but that wouldn't change anything.

I couldn't breathe, it reminded me of the day I attempted. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't help myself. I was trying so hard to breathe but I couldn't. At this point I was also panicking that I was about to die all over again. I have felt death before, I don't know ever want to feel it again.

Things around me we're getting darker. Daniels voice wasn't there anymore. There was only a ringing in my ears that I had heard when I was under water, when I was almost dead.

Oh my god I'm gonna die.

It was dark. I felt myself get lifted from the ground but my body was limp, I couldn't move. But I didn't try to either.

Soon enough I was asleep, saving my thoughts for later.

——

I awoke to a molten stench filling the air that tasted somewhat of tar, I looked over to see my roommate Daniel sitting on his bed reading with a small cylinder rod between his fingertips with a burning flame at the end of it. Still having trouble with my memory, I had no idea what it was.

As he brought the item between his lips his cheeks hollowed as he inhaled the contents of it. He took it from his mouth and exalted a Smokey substance creating a cloud in front of his face and adding to the smell filling the room, it was fascinating.

He quickly caught on to the fact that I was staring at him and looked up from his book with a small smirk playing on the lips that he was previously using to inhale some sort of substance.

"You like what you see?" He questioned, yet I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not.

I looked down to my lap with a blush while sitting up to where my back was on the headboard. "What is that" I probed motioning to the thing he was bringing towards his mouth once again.

He chuckled light-heartedly exposing his near perfect teeth, I couldn't help but stare wishing I looked as beautiful as him.

"It's a cigarette" He tapped the 'now known as cigarette' into a clear disk I remember as an ashtray.