Kabanata 17
Realizations
Learning to say no if necessary. Iyon siguro ang pinakanatutunan ko sa nakalipas na dalawang taon simula noong huling pagkikita namin ni Denver.
Throughout the months of working without him, natutunan at natanggap ko sa aking sarili na tama nga naman siya noong gabing nag-usap kami. I didn't like the idea of working with my asshole ex but I still pursued it because everyone around me said so.
Working with Hudson is like creating a hellhole for me. Lagi ko namang pinapaalala sa kanya na kaya kami nagsama noon ay dahil lang sa trabaho at wala nang iba. However, he kept on bugging and bugging me until I begged Ate Paula to stop accepting offers that includes Hudson.
Hinding-hindi ko makakalimutan ang awa sa mga mata ni Ate Paula noon. It made me kinda feel bad dahil hindi naman siya 'yong nagdesisyon na gawin ko iyon. It was my full responsibility. No one should make themselves feel like it's their fault.
Since then, I learned how to say no to offers that I am not comfortable in working. Denver's words surely made a great impact to me and on how I view my career.
I am working in this industry because I am passionate about it, not because I want to pay off all the things I have sacrificed.
Mahal ko ang ginagawa ko. Iyon dapat ang nagpapagalaw sa akin sa career kong ito.
Kung iisipin ko na lang ang pangarap ko noon at ang mga hindi pa nababayarang sakripisyo ay baka tuluyang hindi na ako makuntento.
Because of that mindset, I actually think that I made it.
Maayos na tumakbo ang career ko. I always make sure that I enjoy doing my videos. Sa tingin ko dahil doon ay nagustuhan ng karamihan ang mga content ko.
I received a golden button in YouTube. I constantly receive seven-digits engagements. It was all worth it. Doing what I truly love without being controlled and my passion being exposed to millions of people... It felt great.
"Good morning, Miss Stef."
Nginitian ko ang isang staff na bumati sa akin. It was a good morning, indeed, since there were fewer people in the building because I arrived earlier than my usual visits.
Papunta ako ngayon sa opisina ni Ate Paula. May pinapapirma kasi siya sa aking isang kontrata tungkol sa isang international make-up brand na ipo-promote ko sa gagawin kong video mamayang gabi.
I have a quite hectic schedule today since I will come to a photo shoot at ten in the morning. Dahil nga wala pang masiyadong tao sa building ay agad akong nakarating sa opisina.
Kung normal na araw lang 'to ay baka abutin ako ng trenta minutos dahil sa dami nang bumabati at nagpapa-picture.
I am not complaining though since I would tell them honestly if I'm in a rush. Agad namang maiintindihan ng karamihan 'yon kaya hindi na sila tumutuloy sa pagpapa-picture.
May iba nga lang na kulang sa comprehension. Ilalantad nila sa social media at kung ano-ano ang itatawag sa akin. Hindi ko na rin naman binibigyan 'yon ng pake dahil hindi naman ako pumapatol sa mga tanga.
Bago pa man ako tuluyang nakalapit sa opisina ni Ate Paula ay may nakita akong isang lalaki na nakahilig sa pader malapit sa pintuan. A wide smile plastered on my face as soon as I recognized that man.
"Cris!"
Mabilis niyang ibinaling ang ulo sa akin. Binilisan ko ang aking lakad na tipong halos tumutunog na ang sahig dahil medyo madulas ito.
He faced me as I went near him. Nakangiti na rin siya sa akin nang tuluyan na akong makalapit sa kanya.
"Nandito ka?" I asked him.
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