The day I wrote a song about you

Chapter 29: Eyes

"New car?" He gestured behind his back with his thumb.

"Yeah. Birthday present."

"Awesome." Somehow his accent, that had been almost lost, managed to come back. I was so shocked that I stayed quiet, as he put back his hand inside his pocket and rocked his feet back and forth. It wasn't until a breeze of freezing air hit my cheeks that I realized I didn't invite him to come in.

"Come inside." I stepped aside and he walked in, giving me a thankful smile. "Are you okay, do you need-?"

"Do you have a few minutes to talk?" He was avoiding my gaze, as if he was trying to hide his face from me.

"Sure." I bit the side of my cheeks as I thought, looking around. Where could we go? The twins and Justin were in the bedroom since it was too cold to play outside, my grandpa was in the living room and mom was in the kitchen. It seemed like the conversation was private and delicate.

Just then my mom walked out of the living room. "Hey, Nico." She smiled, although it didn't reach her eyes. She noticed.

"Eleanor." He nodded his head.

"Cara, I just remembered we're out of milk for Sandro. I'm gonna go to the grocery store. Chicken is almost ready for the oven, you just need to marinate it and turn it on."

I nodded. The kitchen was free.

Grandpa was asleep again so he didn't notice us when we walked in front of him towards the kitchen. "Do you mind if I finish this?"

"No, of course not." He shook his head and sat at the small table in the corner.

"You're not using crutches anymore."

"No." He half smiled. "I did a lot of progress. It doesn't hurt that much to walk now. The pain may even disappear at some point."

"Wow. That's great." I smiled.

"Yeah." He nodded, playing with a few bread crumbs on the table.

"So, what's up?" I asked hesitantly, grabbing the salt.

"Uhm..." he sighed heavily. "You need help?"

"No, it's fine." I kept on marinating the chicken. I had my back turned so I didn't see his expression, but could hear his shaky breath.

"I was... I was sleeping with someone these days."

Involuntarily, I held my breath. With a deep frown between my brows, I tried to continue what I was doing.

I knew it.

Why getting my hopes up? He didn't like me, I needed to stop thinking about him that way. Even if he liked me back, I had already established in my head the reasons why I wasn't good enough, the reasons why I couldn't be in a relationship. They were not new, I came up with them a long time ago.

It still hurt.

"Oh?"

"Yeah." He coughed. I could imagine him fidgeting, sucking on his bottom lip like he used to do. "He... well, he was a guy. He's a friend from Lyon."

"I don't.... know what that is." I said softly, grabbing the tray and putting it inside the oven.

I glanced back at him when he chuckled, his sad expression almost leaving entirely as he stared off into space. "It's a city, like four hours away from Paris." Nico explained. "I told him he could sleep in my hotel room with me, so he could stay longer in Paris, until I came back. We both knew it was an excuse to sleep together, since he's... well, he has a lot of money. Surprisingly, just like all my friends there." He chuckled humorlessly, the bitter expression coming back to his face.