Docs Bizarre quotes and HCs

-/:(*{11}*):\-

I'm gonna stop doing headcannons for now because I don't have any rn. I'm gonna mix in the AU with the whole of JoJo so enjoy or not idk I don't control you.

Josuke: STOP
Josuke: STOP TALKING ABOUT GETTING POSSESSED.
Okuyasu: I'm free real estate-
Josuke: YOU ARE NOT FREE REAL ESTATE.

Joseph: hold the fuck up
Caesar: ???
Joseph: it's me, I'm the fuck up
Joseph: hold me

Fugo: look at me in the eyes and tell me you don't have feelings for him.
Abbacchio: *watching Bruno talk with Mista across the room*
Bruno: *catches Abbacchio's gaze and smiles at him*
Abbacchio, hiding a smile: I don't have feelings for him
Fugo: that was nowhere near my eyes

Narancia: make no mistake, not only am I part rocking, but I am also in the house tonight.
Mista: but are you shuffling?
Narancia: everyday.
Trish:
Trish: what language is this

Diavolo: assassins are just serial killers that take requests.
Risotto: excuse you, we take commissions.

Diavolo: *arrives late to breakfast looking disheveled*
Diavolo: sorry I'm late.. I was doing stuff
*Mat appears behind him*
Risotto: if you say 'I'm stuff...'
mat: not at all, I was doing him

Mat: listen- you need a transfusion, what's your type?
Leone: stupidly tall, white hair, red eyes, acts all serious but is actually a dumbass-
Mat: blood type, leo- WHATS YOUR BLOOD TYPE?!
Leone: oh
Leone: red.

Joseph: babe-
Caesar: call me babe again and see what happens. I'll whoop you with a collapsed lung.
Joseph: w-
Joseph: whose-
Caesar: wait and see.

Josuke: is anyone else scared?
Okuyasu: not really. I've already lived longer than I expected.

Narancia: I'm quick at math!
Fugo: what's 34 x 78
Narancia: 65
Fugo: that's not even close.
Narancia: but it was quick.

False Reality: I hate being touched. The last time I was touched was when Moody blues gave me a high five.
G.E.R: your literally hugging King Crimson right now.
False Reality: this means nothing.

Microwaves I'm really sick rn like no cap
-H