Docs Bizarre quotes and HCs

-/:(*{1}*):\-

So get the gist of this buddy, I was a sentimental 13 year old when I wrote the first few chapters. And they suck. The tumblr bit comes in later, and depending on your humor it's arguably better.

(Multiple quotes per page, feel free to screenshot.)

HELLO, PSA FROM SPARTN, THE FIRST 5 OR SO CHAPTERS SUCK. THATS MY OPINION OF THEM BUT I THINK THEY SUCK. PLEASE DONT GIVE UP ON MY WRITING SKILL AFTER THE FIRST 2 WAH.

WHY DO YOU ALL LIKE THE FIRST THREE SO MUCH THEYRE SHITTER THAN Me WHAH-

(After sc)
Jotaro: can you walk properly?
Kakyoin: I can manage-
Jotaro: *picks Kakyoin up and puts him on his back.*
Josuke, carrying Okuyasu: YOU THINK YOU CAN BE A BETTER DUO THAN US?!
Jotaro: you little fuck-
*both hammering through Morioh *
Kakyoin: YOU FORGET THERE'S A HOLE IN MY STOMACH JOTARO-

Abbacchio: *brings out Moody Jazz for the first time*
Bruno: this is your stand. A being created from your life energy.
Abbacchio:
Abbacchio: life energy?
Bruno: yes.
Abbacchio: was my ass always that big?
Bruno: oh absolutely.

Joseph: why is the spaghetti black?
Caesar: a squid fucking farted on it am I supposed to know?!
Joseph: that's a rude ass squid.
Caesar: that's not the actual reason-
Joseph: still a rude ass fucking squid.
Joseph: *to the squid in the fish tank next to them.* YOU TWAT YOU FARTED ON THE GAY SPAGHETTI CHEF'S DELICIOUS FOOD.
Caesar: SHUT UP BEFORE I KISS YOU ON THE LIPS.
Lisa Lisa:
Suzie Q:

Dio: who are the last stand users to face Jotaro and his little group?
Vanilla ice: myself, Td'arby, Pet Shop and the strange little vampire thing.
Dio: vampire thing?
Vanilla ice: don't know it's name, we call it Loser.
Dio: why don't you simply ask it?
Vanilla ice: we all forget.
Dio: I can't hold anything on you I can't remember the names of any of these women I've fucked PET SHOP I WANT SOME ICE IN MY DRINK-

Bruno: take out the trash
Abbacchio: yes Bucciarati *kik Giorno*
Bruno: fix my car
Abbacchio: yes Bucciarati *somehow fixes it*
Bruno: drive me to libeccio
Abbacchio: yes Bucciarati *actually drives*
-
Mista: he's not gonna fuck you.
Abbacchio: you don't know that also *holds a '4' uno card in front of Mista*
Mista, curled into a ball on the floor: you fucking demon *sob sob*