blood shot eyes and tongued so heavy in your lips they feel like lead on your teeth ―like a bucket o bricks striped on the back end of a pickup truck that broke down in the desert. you'd complain about the cold and i'd say that it's too hot but neither of us'd really care anyway. we like doing that: complaining about things we never really cared about to begin with. i think it's cuz it hides the things we're both really afraid of. like failure and shaky hands and sewn lungs and making each other hate the opposite. driving you away has always been my worst nightmare, but i don't like being vulnerable so i'll say i hate the heat instead. that it's so hot, cuz you're so cold you might grab my boiling-hot hand in your dry-ice ones. like a fucking campfire i never got to see.
my life has disappeared past some wobbly horizon of checkered stripes and button-down shirts with button-up collars and yellow-tooth smiles cuz i never liked brushing my teeth when i was littler. i still don't, but you're a clean freak and i fear, sometimes, that my habits like leaving tea cups out will scare you away.
i think that i'm having some warped version of clarity (or muddied thoughts―when we were still in school a friend of mine called it dissociation, but, whatever). i don't really know who you are, under the silk-velvet-cotton-polyester-satin you implore to wear like a second skin, but i know i wish to. i've uncovered that you have stars under your intangible skin that could be coal or snow or ash-stained indents of the moon. you would have carved the remains of them into the palm of your hands, because i can't with my blood-bitten nails.
salt-ridden water and the holiest of em all'd shatter thy sky into thousands of bits & pieces. wouldn't it be fun to watch things crumble to the remains of hand held days after morrow? charcoal dyed ink stresses white like a moth to the flame. static brushed upon hollow-empty minds―
―FEAR is a four letter word, and so art thou.
YOU ARE READING
cigarette smoke.
RandomGOD GIRL || drowning in the abyss that is you. POETRY, 𝙟𝙪𝙙𝙚!
