cigarette smoke.

oh, how lovely

i think you might be the best thing that's ever happened to me, i think that you're something so wonderful, so so so, i put your photo for my lock screen even when i need my schedule more, probably, because even when the worlds a mess, i think your the pretty in the preteen experience, except we passed that then, and i want to hold your hand and i want to kiss your head goodnight and i want i want, and i think you make me selfish, i think you make me better; fuzzing up my head and making my chest feel like something lovely bloomed there awkwardly, and i think i'd rather die than lose you, but i'm a child and so  are you and still.

i think i love you. teachers tell me i can't love anyone before i love myself but i never trusted teachers anyway, turns out they were wrong, because i loved you before that, i think. i love you and you make me love me, make me like the way my voice sounds, because you like it. I like the way complements sound, but only in your voice and i think i might be crazy for that. i think i might be absolutely batshit, because how are we ever going to make this up if i you realize your a star, and i'm the moon, just mimicking that light you bring. smiling awkwardly because thought of you in the middle of class and maybe i should stop making a lovesick fool of myself, lovely; but i just can't help doing this weird touchy-feels shit when i think of your dumb voice and the way you smile. you grin and it pulls at your lips, stretches the eyes you've drawn on your hand and makes my eyes wide and my heart get soft and i think i want to hold you more than anything, though i'm not very good at this, see, see? 

i want to bump my head on yours and laugh laugh laugh until i get too tired to think, nothing could make me too tired to talk to you, though. 

(i'd fall asleep on your head and you on my shoulder and hold my hand.)

sweet dreams, lovely, lovely.

(: