cigarette smoke.

foolish

I'm a fool, you know? I try and run and grasp victory with my teeth for it to skin my gums off. I cried myself to sleep at the promise of failure and I let my stomach invert itself like a star on the verge of death―tasted pain and the words kinds of dread; anxiety tastes like blood on my lips. So I wash the copper out with the saccharine poison creeping down your throat.

Greatness seizes my bones and rips them apart like arrowed in hearts. Will that mother of mine realize I've gone into a helpless dream with arsenic and cyanide smoke curling around my tongue▬it's down in your lungs so I slink myself into the depths of you一into the ink of your soul and I drink the murky water that freezes your heart over. For all the warmth you are, the glass buried deep under your skin; you dermis and epidermis alike will not show the shattered reflections of myself when you shed. Fall apart like leaves in October to get everything you [want] need.

Your dreams will fall apart like your mortal flesh and only then will I burrow myself in your remains, wrap your intestines around my cold hands like black-friday gloves. Walk out of a shop and spribt free with red Licking my hair and my tongue crimson, licking my teeth. We are both doomed for the rest of our never ending lives― this is why I've chosen my companions wisely. Poison cannot leave my bones and turn my heart black. Cannot paint me fragile enough that toxic green bleeds from my nails. The hues in my hair shine silver and charcoal black－you've alwats liked boring things, haven't you? Do you know?

I'm a fool for writing this, you'll never see it, it's not a confession and I'll never love you like kings you their queens in the stories I've heard so many times over I can make them my own. Copy them verbatim in the dying trees in that park I hated and you loved. But I went anyway because I was lonely and god we're such good friends―laughing past sunset while some crummy comedy plays in the background. Stand away and hold me close because I just might fall apart if you go ―it doesn't hurt though. I don't love you, not in the way you love her, because it doesn't hurt - it never will, because I don't love you. We'll laugh and talk about her and the stupid things we did back in middle school when we we're talking at lunch break.

You'll brag and your cat will skutter away & we'll play ping pong or you'll teach me something new you learnt st your second-third-fourth rate highschool. Not that mine is any better, but we won't stop talking until the sky is painted some mockery of Navy Blue.

I'll never love you the way you love her and she loves you, I cannot physically do that - they say that all best friends are bound to do something like all best friends do. Wedding bells they say; I've never been fond of weddings. They end in ashes, you know, until death or divorce does you part. Eternity with a dash of mortality and pristine lies flowed like silver-teeth and honey lips.

So we'll laugh until the sun sets a ways away and dusk is gone.

No matter how foolish it is to hope, I hope that you're happy, devil-boy.