frayed dreams

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ii

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ii.

you step on daydreams and wash out frayed jeans, lips dipped in honey and catharsis; a drug that sweeps through your blood and shoots through mountains of unending sorrows of lost redemption. baring your teeth in a smile that's more a showing of teeth; a warning to all those that move you with waving hands and glinting eyes ― sharp tongue sharper eyes. they string out with acrylic nails and shiny shirts but you like your frayed jeans and loose hoodies. stained with colored blotches from when you thought you could paint ( you could, very messily, you mused ). the girls and boys in their textile neat dresses and suites with painted lips and spray-straight hair linger to the back of your mind but you spit at their shoes as they taint the soil with bad blood.

you live with headache and famine, but you care and love and hate with an open face. lies rest on your tongue and neutrality mutters upon your lips a sweet song -- hush, your silent because they are not worth your words. ( can you tell how you lie to yourself ? head on your shoulders as you barely your teeth and lie, lie, lie . )

split ends and safety scissors laying under the humid moonshine of the world. you stare at the ghosts and sip the spirits you are too young to know of -- drown your demons in the wine that gods homebound son has made by touching water. taking in the poison you'll kill yourself because your demons have learnt to swim and the girls in perfect dresses use their acrylic nails as claws; they tear out you eyes ― boys in stick-straight suits that cost more than you are worth laugh behind your back. they talk about how you see a child in your frayed jeans that are falling apart, wrapped around your legs like a cacoon. shrill and tainting and heartbroken - you do not care.

instead you wear it like an armor and you tell them nothing; not worth your time. you sit in your jeans -- they frayed like light at dusk and the sun at dawn ( they fall apart in resignation and so do you, but life goes on and you but a new pair of jeans an wear them until the insides are threadbare as your heavy soul ); you are grinning. laughing in your minds crying voice of how they are careless creature. they leave themselves wide open. you bite and snarl back because you are not longer a child that cries at spray-straight hair and colorful hands hot as wax.

no -- for you will bite until they are rotten away and vultures continue your job. a scavenger eating away at the mongrels that dip into the cracks of humanity ― you tell them you bite and they laugh. gaugly limbs and half lidded eyes; covered in grief and your eyes full of greed -- it tears your very soul apart until they sway into the air as ashes and footprints. kindling to a flame and running like magma. you feel your heart set itself alight and it rushes like lava through your head - slow and creeping an edged on foreboding. like a drug you chase it in secret. you scrape your knees falling and falling. frayed jeans don't protect - you hurt, you do not need protection - you scab over and kill with a grin. sharp tongue, sharper eyes; your skin turns to shrapnel and to chase and chase what you oh so desire. haunted by your ghosts ( that is not to say they are all dead ); by life itself and the weight of mortality. morals wrap around your ever bleeding volcano of a heart and you stop burning the lives around you.

too much like acrylic nails scratching your eyes out - too much like spray-straight hair and back handed speak. cracking your neck and splitting your eyes; you flounder to fly in a world of wings ― ashes ashes fill your lungs and the lava miles over your ever-beating heart. you refuse to die now -- it is too soon to turn to dust in the wind at the hands of those with synthetic blood running through their viens. you laugh as adrenaline courses through yours - split second headaches and mania of a picture you've long lost.

you break through walls and bare your teeth in a mockery of a smile; spinning your hands together as you laugh and laugh, falling to your demise.

( and you wake once more, chasing the fire in your veins before your lungs turn to dust . )

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