Ethereal

Figuring It Out

Your heart races as you drive down the streets to get to JJ's house. Every red light seems to take hours to turn green. Your phone says JJ only lives fifteen minutes away, but it feels like it took twenty years to get there once you finally arrive. You see Spencer's car parked a few down from yours and your heart beats even faster.

You quickly get out of the car. From outside you feel like you want to cry when you hear loud voices coming from inside the house. You race to the front door and knock.

"SPENCE, I'M JUST LOOKING OUT FOR YOU!" You hear.

"WHY IS IT ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS?"

You recognize Spencer and JJ's loud voices. You knock even louder and hear footsteps coming near. A very angry JJ swings the door open.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" She asks. Her attitude makes you want to slap her, but that's not why you're here.

"I came after Spencer." You say.

"Y/n, go home." You hear Spencer say.

"No. I'm not going home when you two obviously have something going on." You say. You try to get in but JJ's arm is reached firmly across the opening.

"Y/n I appreciate you trying to help, but you need to leave." She says. You recognize that intimidating tone and look. She's using her profiler face on you right now. It's definitely good, but you don't back down.

"JJ, I know this is your house but I can't just leave." You say. "I need to know that Spencer is ok."

She looks away annoyed for a second but she eventually lets her arm down. You quickly slip past her and walk into the living room. You see Spencer sitting on the couch rubbing his eye. His face is red and his veins are still bulging. It looks like he has a headache. You walk in front of him and cross your arms.

"You shouldn't be here." He says. "This isn't about you anymore."

"Maybe not, but I'm not letting you storm out of our home like that without making sure you're ok." You say.

"Your home." He says. You're confused and he looks up at you. His eyes are red and his expression is intimidating. "I'm moving out of your apartment."

You feel like someone just stabbed you in the chest and tore out your heart.

"What are you talking about?" You ask. You try your very hardest not to cry.

"JJ may be wrong about many things," he says as he looks over at her subtly, "but she's right about one. Everything I've been through has made me unpredictable. I haven't done it yet, but I don't want to end up hurting you someday."

You can't explain how you feel right now. You can't decide if you want to yell and punch him, or run out of the house sobbing. All you can do is say how you feel.

"Spencer I don't give a fuck." You say. "I'm so sorry that you've been through so much, but you cannot use that as an excuse to break up with me."

"Y/n, you don't get it." Butts in JJ. "When you work in our field, it's hard-"

"Shut up." You say sharply. If you hear her voice one more time you might scream. You kneel down in front of Spencer and grab his hands. He tries to pull back but you don't let him.

"When I say I'm sorry I really mean it." You say. "You are one of the most amazing human beings on this planet. You don't deserve all of the hurt and trauma you have. I would do anything to take it away and make you feel better." Now you just let the tears flow. There's no point in holding them back, and you try to make eye contact with Spencer but he looks down at his lap.