TW PANIC ATTACK
Finn's pov -
Noah and Jack. Jack and Noah. I knew this day would one day occur but...I wasn't ready, how could I be ready, I was still in love with him but things...change. I sigh, finally closing my screen so I couldn't see that stupid, STUPID picture of them together. It did hurt, a lot but I brought this on myself. I'm the one who cheated - I deserve everything I get.
I decided to do what I always do when I start to miss Noah, I looked through our old photos. Why do I still have them? I just couldn't get myself to delete them, they're the only things I have left of him; well that and the sweater he left, my favorite sweater. As I scrolled through the photos the memories came back...all at once. I turned my phone off and closed my eyes allowing the tears to escape and fall slowly down my cheeks.
Fuck...Why did I have to ruin everything? We were good, so damn good and I had to go and - and cheat!! I hate myself. Why would I do that!! I miss him so much and I want him back. Finally, I calmed myself down and by chance, I heard a knock on my apartment door. I thought about ignoring it but the knocking didn't stop meaning I had no choice but to open it. I swung the door open and was ready to say "What" but instantly shut my mouth when I saw who it was.
"...Sadie?" I almost gasped out of shock. She smiled - I could tell it was slightly forced but as she pulled me into a long hug I didn't care. I hugged her tightly and we stood there for a bit, we hadn't seen each other in just over a year - not since...well you know. When we pulled away she pulled out an envelope and reached her hand towards me.
"I wanting to give you this myself." She whispered (Tell me this doesn't lowkey give ST4 vibes when Max gave out her goodbye letters tho-)
"What's this?" I ask as I take it off her and start opening it.
"Me and some of the Stranger things cast wanted to do something for 10 years since Stranger things premiered." She replied as I started to read the... invitation? I was invited to a small house party at Sadie's new place to celebrate 10 years of Stranger Things. All the cast was invited but that meant Noah.
"What about Noah?" I whispered, he wouldn't want me there; I mean I'm surprised Sadie even wanted me there.
"He.. won't mind!" Lie.
"I-I don't know if it's a good idea, Noah will be there and-and so will Millie and everything will be awkward and-"
"Finn, we all want you there... Besides it just wouldn't be the same without you."
"I-"
"Look...I can't force you to come but you're gonna have to face Noah... And everyone else, again eventually...Please just think about it?" She sighed.
"I will..." I said looking down.
"I'll see you then, hopefully" She said giving me one last sympathetic smile before leaving again.
"yeah.." I whispered before closing the door.
I pressed my back up against the door and slowly fell to the floor, letting out a loud sigh.
How am I meant to go? How am I going to face Noah? I won't be able to look him in the eyes, and- and Millie!! Her being there will only make things worse. I can't do it - I just can't!!
(TW)
My breathing started to get heavy, and harder until I couldn't control it. I was panicking. I looked around trying to find something...anything! I looked over at the sink and slowly but shakily brought myself to it. I grabbed a glass and filled it to the top - it over-flode a little but I picked it up and started swallowing mouthfuls after mouthfuls of water before pulling the glass away and shakily placing it down on the counter. I grabbed hold of the counter and looked up, slowly getting my breathing to a normal pace. I breathed in and held it, then let out a long breathe, before going back to the door and picking up the invitation and attaching it to the fridge.
I decided to have an early night, and by early I mean skipping dinner and going to bed at 6pm. I was- exhausted and needed a rest. I haven't had a panic attack in years and I forgot how scary they can be. I sighed before laying down under the covers and cuddling up to the sweater - yes, that sweater. There was only one thing on my mind:
Noah.
A/N: Okay so I am SO sorry for barely updating!! I've been trying to work on myself for the past few months and I just haven't had any inspo, but I'm back to posting whenever I can!
I WILL update soon I promise!
How was this? I did Finn's pov again - do y 'all like hearing his pov?
Any suggestions for what you want to happen next ?
Also OMGGGG I'm obsessed with Olivia Rodrigo's new song Driver's license (go stream!!) 2022 me here and yep still obsessed with Olivia.
What's your favorite song?
Thank you sm for all the support on this!!
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~
Zoe :))
