Confiding in You ϟ a.i.

Chapter 62

==Maddie's POV==

I've gotten through the first couple of pages of every single book on my shelf without any success. Even Huckleberry Finn, somehow, reminds me of Ashton. It's like every day I go without seeing him is harder than the last, which is completely stupid.

This whole 'breakup' thing could not have happened at a worse time in our relationship. So much so that after three days, it still doesn't feel real.

Ashton has stopped spamming my phone with texts begging for forgiveness already, too. As much as they annoyed me and made me want to throw my phone against the wall, seeing him give up so soon has made me check it every minute, hoping for a text.

I prop my leg up onto a pillow and reach forward to pull the bandaid from yesterday off. The cuts don't look any better, but they aren't deep and it only stings a little when I walk.

At least I'm knowledgable enough now to know that purposely cutting myself like that would only intensify the empty feeling I have in my chest. The pain of cutting my foot did nothing for me, if I even felt it at all.

My dad has replaced Ashton's frequent texts, though, to be sure. Every hour, he messages me to make sure I'm doing okay, and I don't blame him. Knowing how I've been over the past year, I wouldn't trust me not to hurt myself either.

I guess Cooper told him about Ashton as soon as it happened, too. Which is fine by me, because I have a hard time saying his name out loud, so I couldn't bear explaining the situation to anyone.

Even typing it out to Michael hurt.

I slide off of my bed and move to throw my used bandaid in the garbage, ontop of Cooper's rejection letter from Ohio State. I'm limping my way into the bathroom to get a new one when my door swings open, making me jump out of my skin.

I forgot to mention I've been incredibly on edge the past few days, too. I'm still trying to figure out if it's because I suddenly don't have Ashton to protect me anymore, or because the only boy I ever fully let myself trust proved not to be as trustworthy as I thought.

"Boo!" Michael yells, jumping into my room.

"Mother of God," I mutter, holding my chest and trying to laugh it off. I look over at him and he has a small grin on his face as he walks over to me.

"You okay?"

I start limping to the bathroom again, sighing, and he follows close behind me. Hearing him talk to me with even a little bit of concern is already exhausting me.

Talking to Cooper was easy because he never forced me to discuss the actual problem. Michael, on the other hand, is going to ask me to explain eventually and I'm not ready for that at all. He says we're just playing video games and eating cupcakes, but the look in his eyes tells me differently.

"I didn't even know you were coming," I say, checking my phone again for a text from him that I know for sure isn't there. It's not like I wasn't waiting for Ashton to send me one last apology, or anything.

I pull open the drawer and grab a band-aid, pushing the memory of him putting them in there not even a month ago out of my mind.

Michael watches me closely while I sit on the edge of the bathtub and lift my foot. The memory of Ashton cleaning up my cuts in this exact spot is a lot harder to push away and I try not to flinch when I think of it. This can't be real.

"I wanted to surprise you," he says softly and pull back my hair that has fallen from behind my ear, "Your brother let me in. He thought I was a booty call."