I finish my sandwich quickly, but Hannah continues picking at hers for what must be forever. I feel antsy in my seat, ready to leave and wishing I hadn't even stayed in the first place. If anything is familiar about my entire return, it's the way she makes me feel so inferior to her without even saying anything. It doesn't help that she speaks every rude thing that's on her mind, either.
The fear of simply speaking up and telling her I want to go find my brother is a feeling I'd much rather have forgotten. All of the courage I had had to cuss at Luke a few days ago is gone, but I get up to throw out the remains of my meal in hopes that she'd get the hint and suggest leaving.
Not to my surprise, she doesn't even look up.
"Um, I wonder if my brother and Ashton are back at the bookstore yet," I manage out quietly with a sigh after returning to my seat. Hannah finally looks up from her food and I move my hair over to one shoulder to begin braiding it.
The braiding was a habit I had developed while in California, since my hair had gotten so long and I had become a nervous wreck. I'm not sure why, but every time I felt uncomfortable -- which was nearly always -- I would braid it. And clearly that wouldn't stop while I was back in Ohio.
Hannah scrunches her nose up at me for the thousandth time and finally throws out her garbage, "It's barely even been a half hour, Maddie. He said in an hour, remember?" She says once she is back in her seat.
"Oh," I say barely above a whisper, tugging at the end of my completed braid, "Felt like longer."
She turns her head, but I can see her rolling her eyes. I start to wonder why, if she really doesn't like me, she wanted to spend any time with me at all. Because I for one would rather be in the car with Cooper yelling at me right now than here, and that's saying something.
"So," Hannah sits back in her seat and crosses her legs, "You're back for good?"
"Uh, yeah, I guess. A lot of bad things happened to me in California that I really would rather not return to so..."
"Well you came to quite the shit storm here, anyway." She laughs and I take the braid out of my hair and start again. This hour could not go any slower.
"Okay, what even happened? Seriously?" I surprise myself by bursting out angrily. She couldn't just keep mentioning that stuff and not explaining it. Either talk about it fully or don't mention it at all, because the only thing she was doing was confusing me.
"What happened to you in California?" She retorts, lifting an eyebrow.
I suck in a breath and try not to think about it at all. I've heard the stories; if I think about it, picture it, it'll just get worse. "That's something I've been trying hard not to relive. So I'd rather not talk about it."
Hannah doesn't sympathize, though. She doesn't even care. She was just trying to make a point, expressed by her gruff "exactly" and a flip of her highlighted hair over her shoulder.
The silence between us after this is even more uncomfortable than before, which I didn't think was possible. Hannah keeps looking at me with her face scrunched up and I can't think of a single thing to say to break the tension. I check the time to see that I still have 20 more minutes to spend in this position. Great.
"So, have you talked to Kat or Renee or anyone yet?" She finally speaks up, but I don't like the question. It's better than nothing, but as I shake my head and she less discreetly rolls her eyes, I wish I would have said something -- anything -- to keep her from asking. I already feel bad enough.
"I think we should get back to the bookstore," I say before she can verbally scold me, too, "My brother would probably kill me even if I show up just a second later than him."
"Whatever," Hannah says with a sigh and stands up along with me. We walk out the door of the restaraunt -- finally -- and into the sun. It's silent between us as we walk in the direction of the bookstore, but I'm thankful this time. I don't have to feel her glaring at me, or worry about any questions she could ask.
Once we're back inside the air conditioned building, Hannah crosses her arms and stands infront of me, leaning against one of the bookshelves. She clears her throat and looks down at her shoes, "I'm going to go get those summer reading books. So I'll see you at school."
With that, she disappears into the store and I'm left to sit on a bench near the door to wait for my brother. I pull out the book I had bought and begin reading about a girl who's returning to her summer home with her family friends who are, of course, two cute guys. It's hard for me to put down, until Cooper and Ashton's laughter breaks me out of my focus as they parade through the door.
"Hey hideous," Ashton says, pulling the book out of my hand and sitting beside me. I look up at Cooper, whose face tells me he objects, but who isn't saying a word. Ashton looks at the book and sighs, "Please tell me you're only reading this piece of shit because you finished the comic?"
"Uh," I smile but shake my head, "No."
His eyes gleam like he's thought of something stupid to say in response, but he doesn't say anything. He only returns the book to my lap and stands back up with a sigh.
"Where's the bitch?" He says after a moment, looking around. I stand too so that he isn't looking down on me and face him. Cooper looks irritatedly in my direction and motions toward the door, but I ignore him.
"She went to get her books for school," I say, glancing over at my brother again before looking back at Ashton, "Why do you guys hate her so much?"
"Because she doesn't know how to keep her mouth shut, that's all," He shrugs, lifting his arm to rub the back of his neck. I shake my head in disbelief at him, or at the entire situation. Why couldn't anyone tell me the whole story?
"Could you elaborate, please?" I snap. It's a lot easier to say what I'm thinking around Ashton than anyone else, for some reason. I'm thankful for that, since he's such a dick and deserves to get a piece of my mind anyway.
"Uh, no," He smirks, repeating the simple response just as I had said it only seconds ago.
"Why?"
"It's none of your business, Maddie. That's why." Cooper intrudes, grabbing my arm and pulling me toward the door. I quickly snatch my books off the bench and make a face at Ashton, who only mockingly sticks his tongue out at me. Cooper waves to him with a laugh as we're making our way out, "See you tomorrow, Ash."
--
"I don't get why no one is telling me anything," I say once we're in the privacy of the car. Cooper starts it with a groan, but still doesn't answer me as he pulls out of the parking lot. At least I didn't pester him all the way to the car, but if everyone is going to keep mentioning this thing that happened, I should at least be able to know what it is. "Why is it such a big deal then if no one will talk about it?"
"Because you're a dumbass who would probably try to get involved," He finally answers when we're on the road. "If you don't want to hear about it then stop talking to my friends."
"Hannah is my friend."
Cooper stifles a laugh and I know what he's thinking. She isn't really my friend -- but clearly she isn't his either. I can talk to her all I want.
"If you want to know and Hannah is your friend, then ask her to tell you." He breathes out through his nose and shakes his head, gripping the wheel a bit tighter. "But God, stay away from Ashton, would you? He's not any better than her."
I'm tempted to ask him why he doesn't treat Ashton the same as Hannah then, but I stop myself and simply oblige. He didn't have to tell me twice. Ashton was an even bigger asshole than my brother and he has been for as long as I can remember. And plus, if I could, I would prefer to stay curled up in my bed for the rest of eternity and not interact with anyone. I had no problem with staying away from him.
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Confiding in You ϟ a.i.
FanfictionHe taps his foot against the carpeted floor of his therapist's office, wondering if he should say it. If he should even say her name out loud. He hasn't done that in at least a year. He'd never say it; especially not in front of his friends. As th...