Confiding in You ϟ a.i.

Chapter 34

Luke surprisingly keeps a safe distance from me longer than I would expect him to. I feel disembodied right now and I think it's the alcohol coursing more thoroughly throughout my veins. There is a girl inside me that wants to run away, but she is too deep inside. Right now, I stay where I am and watch Luke, the only sign of anxiety being my restricted breathing. My head is swimming and I wish I'd at least ate more today so I wouldn't feel so weird so fast.

That amount of alcohol and weed is probably minuscule for most people, but not for me. Everything is already moving slower and Luke's tantalizing gaze doesn't seem so scary anymore. At least not on the surface.

"Luke," I breathe out, the nervous part of me willing itself to my conscious enough to take one step back. Luke stays where he is and his smirk never leaves.

"I'm not going to touch you," he holds his arms up, laughing a little. I squint at him, which prompts him to go on, "I wanted to say sorry for what happened on Wednesday. I meant what I said, though."

"Luke," I repeat and turn my head away from him.

Even if I can't think straight, I can think enough to know that he could not be serious. There is no way that after he continues to try to put his hands on me that I could possibly think he has fallen for me.

But that doesn't stop the feelings for him that I've managed to harbor over the past few weeks from coming back up to the surface. I want to believe him and if those emotions keep swelling in my head, I very well just might. It feels right, standing here in his SnapBack, with him. If he keeps up with the good behavior I could almost think my dreams of a respectable relationship with Luke were coming true.

"Can we just hang out for a little? So I can prove it to you?"

I squeeze my eyes shut and then blink quickly, unable to process what's going on. Is Luke really just asking me to hang out? I can't even fully tell if, in his voice, there's a hint of something. He bites his lip and for the first time in a while my stomach flips at the sight.

"Um," I choke, "Sure."

Luke's smile returns quickly at the sound of my agreement and he reaches behind me. My breathing quickens but only for a moment until he hands my plate of pizza to me. I feel myself grin my thanks to him and he moves to my side to get a plate of his own.

"Calum said you were here with Ashton?" he asks while in the middle of pulling a slice out of the box. He has to pull it up high in order to get the cheese on his slice to come apart from that of the rest of the pizza. A giggle escapes my lips even though that's not funny at all.

"Yeah, it's sort of like a date. I think."

I don't know what to say to Luke. At this point, I'm not sure if I still want things to work out with him or if I'm only afraid of him. Both feelings exist in me right now and they're making my skewed judgement much worse.

"Where is he, then?" Luke chuckles, moving toward the fridge. I follow close behind him.

"He's right outside. I was supposed to go back out after I got food," I answer meekly. He opens up the refrigerator to reveal multiple cases of beer and wine coolers.

"Want one?" He asks, ignoring my response to his previous question.

"Well, Ashton said not to drink anymore."

"He sounds more like your dad than your date," Luke carries on with his laughter and I roll my eyes. I grab the beer that he's holding and open the can to take a sip. Of course, it tastes even worse than the mudslide and I try my best not to cringe. He gives me a look of approval which fills me with too much satisfaction for my own good.