Confiding in You ϟ a.i.

Chapter 12

!!!! TW: Rape !!!!!

My heart beats rapidly in my chest as one of his hands grips tightly around my wrist and the other over my mouth, pushing me up against the lockers. We're outside and it feels like the hottest day of all in California. The walkway is empty, deserted even, and I'm completely alone and helpless.

My eyes dart around for anyone that could save me, but it wouldn't matter if I found anyone. There is no way that I could even scream for help. I'm frightened, scared for my life, and I think I might pass out any second. But now I keep my eyes focused on the attacker as best I can in a situation like this. If this is going to happen to me, I'm going to be able to put him in jail afterward.

I study him, but it's like there's nothing to study. His head is down and he is apparently surveying my body, looking for where to start. I can't distinguish a single feature of his from another, somehow. Am I drugged?

I lay my head back against the locker in frustration, his dirty and sweaty palm still against my lips. All my life, I was afraid of something like this happening to me. But deep down, I never thought it would. I prepared for it though, knew exactly what I could do if it did happen. But now I was certain I wouldn't even be able to identify him after this.

He moves his hand from my wrist, down my side, and stops once he reaches my butt. I swallow the lump that's forming in my throat and try to keep the tears from coming. All of this fear is building up inside of me and I want to scream, but his hand is so tightly gripping my face that I can't even move my lips.

A feeling of hope passes through me as he removes it, but that hope is gone as he quickly moves a switchblade to my throat. Finally, though, he looks up and I can see all of his features clearly. My breath catches in my throat upon recognition. Luke.

He looks even more evil than I could ever picture him to be, his eyes full of hatred and his slow breathing being the only thing I can hear. He gives me a sinister smile, moving the blade even closer to my skin, "Don't scream or move, and no one gets hurt." 

--

I jerk awake, sitting up quickly. There's a layer of sweat covering my body and the room is spinning. I can't breathe and I certainly can't think. Within seconds, tears are pouring down my face and I grip my chest, trying to catch my breath. As soon as I can see straight, I grab my phone off the nightstand and dial the first number I can think to call.

"Maddie?" My dad's voice is sleepy, and I immediately regret the decision. I must have woken him up. "It's midnight, it must be like, 2 a.m. over there. Are you okay?"

I glance at my clock and let out a long sigh; 3:19 a.m. illuminates off the screen. Great, I have to be awake in three hours.

"Maddie? Are you there?"

"I had another nightmare, dad," I sob into the receiver. I let the phone rest between my shoulder and my ear, bringing my hair to a side to quickly being braiding it. I hear him suck in a breath on the other end, just like he had every night in California. Immediately, there's a knawing in my chest. I wish he was here to hold me like he had every other time.

"It's okay, Mad, I'm here," he says quietly, but it's not the same. He's not really here. "Was it just like before? About what happened?"

"Yeah," I purposely leave out the details about Luke; that would only complicate this more. I grab the phone in my hands again, using my free hand to wipe the tears from my face, "I just -- I tried so hard to not think about it. I went two weeks without these and now they're back..."