Confiding in You ϟ a.i.

Chapter 58

((Hey, i just wanted to make a little note. I'd never stop writing or updating because of this. I love this story, but okay. I have so many ghost readers. 500-700 people read each chapter but it feels like only about 30 do because only 30 people vote, and like 5 people comment lmao.

this wouldn't be a problem if i wasn't so self conscious of my writing. i feel like people are reading and not liking it if the reads are going up but no one is voting/commenting

so please vote n don't be afraid to comment i'd love to hear your thoughts :-) ))

OH ALSO EXTREME TRIGGER WARNING (RAPE/ABUSE) ON THIS CHAPTER.

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==Ashton's POV==

Ever since I came home with a beat up face, my mom has been worried about me. She asked me so many questions and I tried to tell her Cooper and I were just messing around, but she didn't believe me.

I couldn't keep what happened from her for long and now she gives me that concerned smile every time I come downstairs.

And rightfully so.

Cooper and I aren't friends anymore.

It's pretty safe to say. He hasn't spoken to me since I left his house and I don't know why I was expecting anything different.

He told me he would pretend I, and the fact that I slept with his girlfriend, didn't disgust him for Maddie's sake. He doesn't have to speak to me unless she is around, and even then it will be fake.

This is hitting me much harder than I thought it would. If I even considered how Cooper would react when I decided to sleep with Lily, I didn't think I would feel as numb as this. Even when I thought I didn't want to be his friend, when he hit Maddie, it didn't feel like this.

Now I don't even want to tell Maddie about Lily at all. At least I get to be fake friends with Cooper when she doesn't know.

I told one of them, which is what Milly told me to do. Cooper still isn't going to break up with Lily, for whatever dumb reason, but that isn't my fault. She can't tell Maddie, when Cooper already knows and she won't get what she wants anyway.

I should be happy that Maddie isn't going to find out, but losing my best friend of 13 years in the process is making me feel queezy. I thought she was all I needed but obviously that's not the case.

"Is Maddie still coming over?" my mom asks from my doorway.

It's Christmas Eve and all I've managed to do is be a little bitch and look through all of the pictures and videos of me and Cooper that exist on the face of the earth. Most of them are from parties or soccer, but there's some dumb videos of us trying to blow stuff up and shit.

Every once in a while I'll get to a picture that Lily's in too and I'll want to throw my laptop out of the window. I am such an idiot. Such a f*cking idiot.

"Yeah, in an hour," I tell her, glancing up from my screen only for a second.

I click on another video in my files and brace myself for yet another punch to the heart. I went through a phase when I was in 8th grade where I wanted to film everything with this shitty camera my uncle got me for my birthday, which doesn't help.

"Where is Maddie going?" 13-year-old me taunts from behind the camera, following her. Her then-brown hair only reaches her shoulders and swishes back and forth as she runs up the stairs of her house. "Back to play with her dolls?"

"Get your dumb camera away from me, Ashton!" she whips around when she gets to the top stair, putting her hands over the lens.

Already taller than her, I lift my hand so she can no longer reach the camera but tilt it down so she's still in the frame. She crosses her arms over her chest and scowls.