Confiding in You ϟ a.i.

Chapter 14

!!!!! TW: Rape and Self Harm !!!!!! 

"So you're meaning to tell me that you had a good time last night?" Cooper asks me the next morning while we eat cereal at the kitchen table. I'd woken up from another nightmare -- still including Luke, unfortunately -- relatively later than usual and came downstairs to find him already awake. He'd rolled his eyes at me with a scowl on his face, but I just gave him a smile. This was, for some reason, questionable to him.

"Yes," I grin down at my bowl. I'd told him everything as happily as I could, though the dream I just had is proof enough that I still don't really trust Luke. I'm just glad that this whole 'liking me' thing is beginning to feel a little less like a joke and more like a reality.

"I can't believe how naive you're being," Cooper slams his bowl in the sink before sitting back down angrily. I look over to him in confusion. Couldn't he be happy that this was going smoother than he thought? He always seems to find something wrong with what I'm doing, no matter what. It was that way before I left, so I shouldn't be surprised that it's the same now. "Seriously, you're so fucking stupid."

"What the hell are you talking about?" I shoot back, unable to take his criticism anymore. "I swear, it's like you don't have an empathetic bone in your--"

"No, it's like you are just--" He stops himself, running his fingers through his hair. He mumbles a nevermind, grabbing my empty bowl and dragging his feet toward the sink. I'm still fuming, unfortunately.

"I'm just what?!"

Cooper turns back around to face me and looks furious yet again. He's quick to continue the argument, his concern for what he was saying leaving before it was barely even there to begin with, "It's like you are just asking to be raped again."

My stomach drops at the sound of his words and I feel like I can't breathe anymore once I fully process what he's said. He knows. He knew the entire time I've been here, probably, and showed no concern or anything. He knows and not only reminds me of the incident I've been trying so hard to repress but has the nerve to say that I want it to happen again. I can't help the whispered she was asking for it that I'd heard from my peers in California from replaying over and over in my mind. 

"I'm not going to let that happen," My voice is soft and defenseless now, even if I'm still trying to defend myself. My mind is barely on the conversation anymore, but on the memory of the struggle I had once I'd tried to put my attacker in jail. Cooper doesn't seem to care.

"Because you did such a great job at not letting it happen the first time," He laughs, shaking his head. He has such a condescending look on his face that makes me sick to my stomach.

I almost run up the stairs to be away from his dick personality like I do most of the time, but it feels like I can't even move. This hits far too close to home and I can't even look at him without wanting to rip his guts out. 

"You think it's my fault?" I say louder now, finally letting out a breath with tears welling up in my eyes. I'm not sure if it's from the anger or sadness I'm feeling that I feel so overwhelmed, but it's overwhelming just the same. "You really think that?"

"Yeah, I do," He's still pompous, the smirk on his face proving that he's not feeling guilty at all, "And I don't feel bad for you. When it happens again after you decide to wear something as stupid as what you did on the first day, I'll be over here laughing my ass off." 

I realize now that it's anger that's building up in my chest. Anger at everyone who said the same thing to me, the fact that they showed more sympathy toward a rapist than toward his victim, and the fact that such ignorance didn't stop at my own brother. I'm barely thinking as I stand and my feet rush toward him before I push him up against the counter. He doesn't even look phased. In fact, he laughs, his arms now crossed about his chest.