Mind Set

Chapter 6

Unkept Oath

Aga

The car made a minimal squeaking sound as I pressed the pedal. The colloquial feeling waved upon looking outside the window.

I'm here again.

"Lea? Lea? Wake up." I tapped Lea's cheeks and tried to wake her up, her eyes slowly opened as she rubbed it.

"Saan tayo?" Lea asked and looked around. This is the best way I can find to apologize, everything I have done to her was very descending to her part.

Tables turned. Everything was once at my side, but the unpredictable happened and now I'm all alone, don't even know if I will still believe in love after all of this experience.

"Let's go?" I asked, she nodded her head and opened the car door.

"This place is very special to me, dito kami laging napunta nina Mommy at Daddy nung bata ako," I narrated as we walked towards the cliff, Actually, there's two way on how you can see the beach.

First is by the cliff which is my favorite spot, and next is by going down the shore using the rocks.

"Ang ganda." Uttered by Lea.

This place has done so much for me. And it might do the same to her. I am extremely aware of what she's feeling, been there for 2 times already when I was younger. It feels like heaven and hell has had a war and their weapons were thrown at you.

It makes you perceive like the world already turned its back to you and everything seems black, everyone looks crazy to you when you see them smiling or laughing because you, yourself can't help but think...

Are they not facing any problem? How can they laugh so genuine and smile like there's no tomorrow when you know that everyone owns a problem?

"Go on, you can cry." I said as a way of comforting her. I want Lea to know that crying will make her feel stronger and tougher. Releasing all the heavy feelings your heart is carrying is such a relief inside and out.

I was about to reiterate my sentence when I saw her shook her head and looked straight into my eyes.

"A-ayaw ko na, h-hindi naman na kasi magigising si Nanay sa mga iyak ko, mapapagod lang ako. Okay na 'yung ganun, sabi naman sakin ni Nanay na kapag daw nawala na tayo at natulog na ng matagal na matagal, eh mas maganda naman daw mapupuntahan natin; sa lugar na hindi na tayo masasaktan. Kaya masaya na si Lea na hindi na masasaktan si Nanay." I-I'm speechless, I didn't expect to hear those words from Lea. Maybe Nanay Ligaya was right, Lea might have this kind of illness, but she's matured enough to linger her life and be mindful of what she's going thru.

You won't really expect those words to come from her. Despite living in this kind of judgemental world with an affirmed mental disorder. She still shows the world her smile that reflects what kind of a person she is.

A very positive and jubilant one.

Nanay Ligaya. She's her strength. Lea looks very dependent when she's with Nanay Ligaya, because she knows she can be vurnerable and childish like when she's infront of her mother. That's the bond they have although not having each other literally in there sides for all the time. They still have kept their love to each other that strong.

"What are your plans?" I asked and looked infront of us, seeing the ocean's waves like children running from a line and one was tripped over so they tripped over each other.

It looks very peaceful and always feels like home. Maybe because it always reminds me of my mother, she really loves staring and spending hours watching the ocean from this exact place.