Saturday
Megan
I was angry, I was fed up, I was tired.
But most of all, I was alone.
I had only been here two nights and already I felt like my parents had abandoned me. They didn't care about me. They hadn't even wanted to speak to me when I'd called.
Dad had answered and within two seconds of saying hi had passed the phone to Mum. She was much more interested in how I was doing than he was and she wasn't even my real mum.
But still she didn't care that much. She'd listened to what I had to say but didn't ask anything. She didn't ask how I was feeling or if I was getting along with the doctors or if I'd met any other patients.
All she said was that she hoped I felt better soon.
What a weird and useless thing to say.
Neither of them had said they loved me after I had said so on the call. Neither of them mentioned coming to visit anytime soon. Neither of them sounded like they cared; they just sounded bored and unwilling to be talking with me.
So yes, I had broken down crying in the middle of the corridor on my way to the roof. I'd wanted to be alone, needed to be. The fresh air would have helped to clear my head, at least I thought it would.
But I didn't know how to get there and by the time I realised that, I didn't know how to get back to my room either.
I'd wandered around until I'd given up and sunk to the floor, crying, where Luke had found me. I didn't know whether to be pleased or upset that he was friends with Calum.
Pleased because I found Calum weirdly comforting to be around for someone I had met only a couple of days ago, but upset because he hadn't been happy when he found me on the roof yesterday.
Luke and Ashton were speaking about something before Luke turned and left, leaving me with just Ashton and I'm sure the kids who were listening in, hoping for a bit of drama.
"Megan, let's go inside then we can talk about this alright?" He said calmly, but I shook my head, my arms crossed.
"No," I said "I don't want to go anywhere and talk about it. You don't even know what's going on!"
"You're right. Why don't me go to your room and you can tell me about it?" Ashton suggested.
"That's the exact offer you just made. You just rephrased it," I said, exasperated.
I could feel myself getting close to tears again and I desperately didn't want to cry. I wouldn't want to be one of those people that cries at everything.
"Megan? What's going on?" A voice said from behind me and I turned to see Calum walking down the corridor towards us.
"Calum," I cried, tears spilling over as I looked at him.
"It's okay, sweetheart," he said immediately, wrapping his arms around me.
"They don't love me," I sobbed into his chest, wrapping my arms around him.
"Woah," he said, rubbing my back soothingly. "I'm sure that's not true."
"I said I loved the a nas they didn't say it back. They didn't even want to talk to me." I cried harder.
"Ok. It's going to be okay," he said gently, beginning to walk, presumably leading me back to my room.
And as much as I didn't want to be in that small, stupid room, I wanted to be with Calum because I felt better when he was there. He made me feel as if someone cared about me.
Once we'd reached my room, which was actually surprisingly close, Calum shut the door behind us before leading us me to the bed.
We sat down facing each other, both cross legged.
"What happened?" He asked softly.
"I- I hadn't heard from my parents, so I decided to call them," I started, still crying but silently now. "But it was clear they didn't want to speak to me. Dad only said hi before giving the phone to mum and she didn't seem to care much either. What's wrong with me? I must be a terrible daughter for them to care so little."
"No, no," Calum said quickly. "You are not a terrible daughter. If anyone is being terrible, it is them. I probably shouldn't say that about your parents," he rambled slightly. I couldn't help but crack a smile. "Your parents love you and I am sure they enjoyed speaking to you. It's a weird time right now for the three of you, being so far apart and you having to go on this journey without them here. It's going to put a strain on your relationships but I know they care for you. You wouldn't be here right now if you didn't."
I looked up at Calum, meeting his kind eyes and seeing a warm smile on his face. I smiled back, his words having made me feel a bit better.
"Why don't you put the Tv on and try to relax, okay? I know it's hard but we do have chemo in a bit and it would be better if you were a calmer by then."
"Will you stay?" I asked quietly.
"Of course," he smiled. "Shuffle up then."
I loved over, giving us high enough space to sit up against the pillows. Luckily, the bed was fairy wide.
"What do you want to watch?" Calum asked, handing me the remote.
"Brooklyn 99?" I suggested. I loved that show.
"Sounds good to me," Calum smiled and I quickly searched it on Netflix before starting series one. I'd watched it so many times I'd lost count but it was amazing every time.
All too soon Calum said it was time for my chemo.
Reluctantly, I got out of bed, went to the toilet, changed into a pair of leggings and a t-shirt, and pulled my hair into a messy bun.
I gave myself a once over in the mirror, not overly happy the ensemble I had pulled together, and I was not one of those girls who looked hot in sweats and a messy bun, but honestly not caring because I was only about to go get chemotherapy, not go out anywhere exciting.
I was not looking forward to it. It was bound to take ages and would most likely make me sick afterwards.
Wish me luck.
