I was sat in a chair, Calum next to me preparing the needle to start my chemo. The room was fairly quiet, only a couple of the other chairs being occupied.
"Megan?" Calum said.
"Hm?" I asked turning to face him.
"I asked if you were alright to start?" He said.
Oh I must have zoned out.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Go ahead," I said quickly, looking down to the door.
"Are you sure," he asked softly "It's okay if you're nervous."
I let out a deep breath before turning my head back to his.
"Yeah, I'm nervous, but it's not like I can avoid this so might as well just do it now," I said.
"Do you want me to explain it?" Calum asked "Or would you rather I just do it."
"Just do it," I answered. I really didn't want to hear the details of how he was about to put a needle in my arm which would most likely make me feel nauseated and tired.
"Ok, look over there, for me," Calum said softly, pointing to towards the other side of the room. I followed his instruction, focusing on a poster on the wall that I couldn't read from here. "Small pinch," he said before I felt the needle break the skin of my arm. It wasn't as bad as I was expecting but it wasn't particularly pleasant either.
"How long will this take?" I asked Calum, making a point not to look at my arm. I knew if I saw the needle I'd freak out.
"About an hour," he responded which caused my head toe hip round very quickly to face him, shock and horror clear on my face.
"An hour?!" I exclaimed.
"Yes," he chuckled. "You should be pleased; they can last up to four."
"Four hours?! I'd die of boredom before the cancer can get me," I joked but Calum didn't look amused.
"You're not going to die Megan," he said quietly.
"You don't know that," I answered, looking down to my hands, picking at one of my nails.
Calum took my hands in his, pulling them apart. "Look at me," he said quietly, and I looked up. His face softened further when he noticed the tears in my eyes. "I'm not going to let you die," he said firmly. "Me, and everyone else here, are going to do absolutely everything we can to make sure of that."
Hearing him say that made me want to cry more. No one ever cared about me. I'd barely known Calum two days and he already seemed to care about me more than my parents.
I pulled my hands away from his, looking away again. I didn't want to talk about this right now otherwise I would cry and wouldn't be able to stop.
I cleared I my throat and said "Are you staying?"
"Yes," he answered. "I always stay for the first chemo of all my patients. After that it's up to you whether you want me to stay or not."
"Can you not," I said.
"I said for after this time," Calum chuckled.
"Please, I don't want to have to try and make conversation with you for the next hour."
"Wow thanks," Calum teased.
"You know what I meant," I said.
"I know but I don't fell comfortable leaving you alone for your first chemo. We don't know how you're going to react to the medicine yet and the first treatment is always hard on people."
