Roommates & Soulmates

Ch184: Alec's Conversation

More than anything, Alec wished Magnus had joined them for Christmas instead of working right through till New Year's. Sure, he was there in the evenings for a couple hours, and yes - Alec saw him in the morning, but it was just like it had been for months: shallow. Alec could tell Magnus was still holding back, going through the motions of their marriage instead of being in it with him.

Magnus always got up before him and was out the door with nothing but a peck on the cheek before Alec felt completely awake. If only he could make Magnus stay, then maybe everything would be okay? Alec knew this was an irrational thought, yet somehow he couldn't shake it. It felt like Magnus's work was the enemy or the problem to be solved, when really he knew it had to be more than that. Rationally, Alec knew Magnus was hiding in his work, but emotionally he felt like he was competing with Magnus's job for his husband's attention.

Apart from his fears for his marriage, everything else over the holidays went smoothly enough. Max was overjoyed to see them all. His mother's cooking was exceptional, as always. Izzy snuggled up with Simon the whole time, almost to the point that Alec wanted to avert his gaze. He could at least tell his sister was happy, even if he didn't really want to see it. Simon did spend quite a while on the phone catching up with his mother and sister on Christmas day which was only to be expected, even if Izzy did look annoyed to be neglected. Sometimes Alec thought Simon had the patience of a saint to put up with his sister, but other times it was as if she was putting up with him. Alec supposed that in the end it probably all worked out pretty evenly. Seeing Izzy so happy with Simon only further made Alec feel lonely as he remembered similar moments of love he'd shared with Magnus.

All in all, Alec was happy when the holidays ended and his parents and little brother flew home. This couldn't go on forever. Alec hadn't wanted to spoil the holidays with any drama, especially since his parents didn't know anything was wrong. If his worst fears were true, he had wanted at least one more Christmas together before he forced the issue. Alec couldn't bear this limbo much longer, let alone forever. He'd have to force Magnus to talk to him even if the idea of really bringing it up scared the life out of him.

When Alec returned home from seeing his parents off at the airport he was surprised to find Magnus home, and hanging out with Jace.

It wasn't until a few minutes later that Alec realized having Jace there made it hard to start any private conversation. Still, Alec was also happy to catch up with his friend. He'd felt bad about leaving Jace all alone, and had planned to invite Jace to his family's celebrations until Clary had told him her idea. Jace had needed his mother more than a holiday with someone else's family. Alec was very happy to hear about Jace's Christmas of forgiving.

"It was so freaking delicious," Jace said as he described the plum pudding his mother had made.

"I'm glad you had a good holiday," Alec smiled back. They were all sitting around in the living room talking, a cat sleeping on everyone's lap except Jace's.

"Yeah," Jace replied. "A surprisingly good holiday. Anyway enough about me. How was yours?"

"Fine," Alec answered easily. "Izzy and Simon had a great time, and it was nice to see Max."

"Oh yeah how old is that little brother of yours now?" Jace asked.

"Ten... going on thirty," Alec laughed. "Kid thinks he's so grown up. It's adorable."

"Just wait till he's grown up and you're old," Jace chuckled. "Then he'll really give you a run for your money."

"Gee thanks," Alec replied sarcastically. Then he looked at his phone for the time. "If you don't want to run into Clary you might want to go. She and Paige are due home soon."