Roommates & Soulmates

Ch190: Izzy's Soulmate

Dinner was delicious as always. Izzy loved the steak here and for the most part her evening had been perfect. Yes Patrick's reappearance hadn't been ideal, but at least he'd left right away. Even so, something was nagging at Izzy. Simon smiled and complicated the food, but still he was off. Izzy could just feel it. It was like a wall had gone up over Simon's eyes, and it scared her.

Izzy wanted to break the wall and see what was behind, but she was also terrified to do so. A little voice from deep inside her was telling her Simon was pulling away from her. Izzy tried to quell the voice. She had tried so hard not to be that insecure little girl she'd once been, but tonight with Simon's eyes so vacant she couldn't quite manage it.

But which was scarier? Should she ask the question and hear the words that could break her heart, or did she stay silent and hope she was wrong?

As they walked back into their apartment a third option occurred to her. Slowly, her eyes fixed on Simon, Izzy moved closer. She wrapped her arm around his side and began to kiss his neck. Then she moved up, kissing under his ear and along his jaw line until she reached his lips. Izzy opened her lips and explored the well known caverns of her boyfriend's mouth.

Simon's hand was at her hip now, but other than that he hadn't moved. The fear built up in her again. Maybe he really was bored with her. Overwhelmed with some combination of fear and love, Izzy deepened their embrace, pushing Simon up against the wall. It seemed to work. She felt Simon's other hand slowly move up her exposed leg and under the slit of her dress.

Just as Izzy was starting to believe everything would be okay, the door to their apartment opened and in walked their roommates.

"Get a room!" Maia chuckled.

They'd had the whole apartment to themselves until a moment ago, but it was fine. Izzy grabbed hold of Simon's hand and guided him to their bedroom down the hall.

"Now we have a room," Izzy smiled at her boyfriend once she'd shut the door on their bedroom. "Though I really do think it might be time for our own place."

"Actually," Simon said. "I'm not really in the mood."

"But it's Valentine's day," Izzy protested. He just shrugged.

Izzy watched as Simon loosened his tie and went over to sit on the bed. Everything was probably fine, but still his wall scared her. His rejection hurt. If he was pushing her away even if it was terrifying, the best chance was to break down his walls. Izzy took a deep breath and decided to be brave.

"What's wrong?" Izzy asked him.

"Nothing," Simon shrugged.

"Bullshit," Izzy replied. "This is me you are talking to."

"I just-" Simon started, but he didn't seem to find the words.

"You just what Simon?" Izzy asked, fear raising the volume in her voice. "You don't want me tonight? Might not want me in twenty years." She hadn't intended to bring this up, but she couldn't help it. The way he'd casually rejected the idea of marriage three months ago still stung.

"I wasn't the one getting hit on tonight!" Simon snapped back.

"Is that what this is about?" Izzy asked. "I told that idiot to leave didn't I? I can't control other people."

"I know," Simon said with a deferred sigh. Pulling his tie completely off now, Simon laid back on the bed staring up at the ceiling.

Izzy walked the few steps over to the bed and laid beside him, intertwining her fingers with his.

"I love you," she said in a soft voice. "More than I've ever loved anyone before, or ever will again."

"And I just don't understand that," Simon replied. "Sometimes I get so insecure standing next to you, and I start to wonder why you even want me."