Tessa's Inadequacies

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Thanks to her new breast pump, the boys were feeding Lucie with both formula and bottled breast milk now while Tessa slept. However, the extra sleep had done nothing to improve her mood. Tessa had thought the cause of all her problems was sleep deprivation. She's thought once she'd slept a solid eight hours every night she'd feel better, but she'd been wrong. It would be okay though. Maybe she just needed to get out more. Yes, that was the solution.

So Tessa contacted all her girl-friends and tried to organize a girl's night out. She quickly learned that she had very few female friends - her only one being Clary - and started branching out. Magnus's boyfriend had a sister who had a roommate. That brought her total up from one to three. Much better.

Tessa was pinning on her hopes on this night out. She convinced herself that it would fix her. It would make this feeling go away. Then she would feel better, right?

Walking out of the house felt like a weight had been lifted from her chest. Tessa could breath again. She took a few deep gulps of air as she tried not to think about why being away from her baby felt better, and just enjoyed the sensation. She was meeting Clary, Izzy and Maia at the bus stop down the street. Will would have driven her, but he had to work tonight, and Jem was with the baby. Tessa had cab fare home, and she didn't mind busing to the bar. During the planning of this evening, Tessa had looked up drinking while breast feeding, and knew that all she had to do was pump tomorrow like normal then throw it out. No big deal, and she needed this.

Tessa saw that familiar head of red hair and started walking faster. As she approached, she saw the two women on either side of Clary, who must be Izzy and Maia. Though Tessa had never met either of them before, she recognized Alec's sister at once. The two siblings had the same colouring and face structure. The other girl, Maia, was darker skinned, more like Magnus but darker still, and she was dressed casual like Clary - both of them in jeans and a nice shirt while Izzy was in a dress with heels.

"Tessa!" Clary called as they approached.

"This is Izzy and Maia," Clary introduced the others to her.

"I figured," Tessa replied with a smile. "Now, who wants to get drunk?"

"Aren't you a new mom?" Izzy asked.

"All the more reason why I need alcohol," Tessa counted.

"You won't get any argument from me," Izzy laughed. Someone spotted the bus, and moments later, they were all sitting on it.

Tessa sat numbly on her seat with the other girls around her. She could tell they were talking, but she didn't really pay attention until she heard them mention Valentine's day being this weekend.

"But it's January," Tessa reminded them.

"Umm," Clary said awkwardly. "No Tessa. It's February."

"Oh," Tessa said softly. She hadn't realize so much time had passed.

"Are you sure you want to go out tonight?" Clary asked.

"Yes," Tessa said firmly. "If I don't get drunk tonight I might drive off a cliff."

"Been there," Izzy laughed, and suddenly they were all talking again. Tessa knew they thought she was joking, and decided not to correct them.

"Jace told me about you and Simon," Clary was saying to Izzy.

"Great night," Izzy laughed. "We may have gone back in for seconds, if you know what I mean."

"Izzy the seats know what you mean," Maia whined.

"He's a good person," Clary said. "Not a great night. He isn't like some random guy you can use. He's my friend."

"My friend too actually," Maia added.

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