Roommates & Soulmates

Tessa's Strength

Tessa had stopped breast feeding entirely since starting her antidepressants, as the doctors had warned her the meds would leak into the milk, but she decided that was okay. Her baby needed her mother to be a functional human being more than she needed breast milk. Lucie was used to formula, and both Will and Jem were quite proficient at making it. These days, the boys were doing almost all the child care, with Tessa only spending time with her daughter when one of her father's was around. She liked it this way best for now. Until Tessa was totally better, this kept Lucie safe.

Tessa was taking some 'me' time, and with every passing day, she was feeling more like Tessa. She was re-reading her favourite books, baking, sleeping, and spending time with friends. She hadn't told most her friends about the post partum depression, but Magnus was a different story. Tessa had needed to tell him. Her other friends weren't big life problem friends, so much as school colleagues, or book club acquaintances. When some people ask you how you are, all you say is fine, no matter how you are feeling. This being the case for those book club and school friends, but Magnus was different. If Magnus ever asked how she was, Tessa always gave him a real answer. The most wonderful thing about Magnus however, is that he knows when she doesn't need to talk about it. He had a way of just understanding without intrusion, when she needed to talk about someone else's issues, and when she needed to unload her own.

"So, I am hoping I get the research job," Magnus finished his long reply to her question 'how's the job hunt going?' "It looks interesting, though it's a thirty minute drive away so I am going to need to get a car. Sure, the archiving job pays better and is closer, but it just seems so boring. I'd almost rather commute, but then again, there is the better pay with the potentially boring job."

"Money is important," Tessa replied. "Not that I can talk, being unemployed and all."

"You have Will and Jem," Magnus explained. "And little Lucie. Don't be too hard on yourself."

"Well you have Alec," Tessa countered. "I am sure he'd rather you take the job you're interested in."

"I'm sure Alec wouldn't mind it if I didn't work at all," Magnus laughed. "He wanted to take a vacation when I should be working."

"Why not just go on vacation then?" Tessa asked. "Sounds like a nice graduation gift."

"Student debit is my actual graduation gift," Magnus replied. "Alexander is constantly testing my willpower. It's like he wants me to take advantage of him."

"Nah," Tessa smiled. "He's just young and in love. Throw in rich, and it all makes sense." She laughed. It was great to talk about someone else's problems for a change, and to talk to an adult that wasn't Jem or Will. She loved them both, but lately it was like they were the only people she spoke to.

Magnus sighed, a deep final sound. "Well, I've fallen now and I ain't getting up," he said.

"Funny how that happens," Tessa chuckled.

"And you, my dear," Magnus began, smiling. "Have let me go on for too long about my silly little problems. How are you?"

"Happy to talk about you," Tessa replied. "Honestly though, I'm better. Will and mostly Jem have taken over baby duty for a while."

"Jem is a saint," Magnus replied.

"He really is," Tessa sighed, sinking deeper into her comfortable chair. It was just like Magnus to sense when she was finally ready to talk about her own stuff. The hour of listening to Magnus's job hunting adventures had been time well spent.

"I have been dying to know," Magnus whispered. "I mean, I know you consider them both the father, but do you actually know who it is?"

"Will," Tessa said without hesitation. They hadn't ever planned to keep this a secret, but it seems that all their friends had been too polite to ask, that is until now.