Roommates & Soulmates

Ch30: Clary's Apprehension

Jace kissed the top of her head then whispered, "You have never hurt me Clary."

"But-" Clary said. She had denied Alec's words at the time, but the more she thought about them the more sense they seemed to make. She had hurt Jace, which was wrong; all Jace had ever done was help her.

"Forget what Alec said," Jace whispered as he kissed her forehead. Clary felt a tingling sensation spread over her skin from where his lips touched her. She shivered.

"I should go," he said. "And you should text Simon."

"Simon?" Clary asked, confused... then reality hit. Her boyfriend Simon, whose existence had totally slipped her mind. She flushed, embarrassed that she had momentarily forgotten about everything except Jace's touch.

Clary watched Jace leave and continued to stare at the door long after he was gone. She gripped her phone firmly in her hand, eyes still locked on the door, thinking that she really should text Simon... but she didn't want to talk to her boyfriend. She missed her friend, Simon, the version of Simon before he'd told her he loved her. That Simon is who she wanted to talk to, but he didn't exist anymore. It had been two years and still Clary hadn't learned to love him the way her loved her. She'd tried, but the love she had for Simon just wasn't romantic. She knew she should tell him, but the look she feared she'd see on his face at such news haunted her. She loved him too much to break his heart.

Clary finally removed her eyes from the door and focused on her phone. She wanted to be around friends right now. Clary made a decision and sent a few quick texts which were quickly answered. She got up, got dressed and headed out. She tried to enjoy the walk, but she still went the long way around to avoid the place where she'd met Sebastian last night. Clary was okay and she'd meant what she said to Jace, but she just didn't want to walk past that spot. Clary was fairly sure she wouldn't be okay if Jace had arrived too much later, but she was trying very hard not to dwell on any of the 'what ifs' currently running through her brain. What ifs didn't matter. What mattered is that she was fine and Sebastian was out of Jace's life.

Her self-pep talk managed to get her through the short walk and Clary arrived at the door and went in without knocking.

"Biscuit," Magnus called from the couch as the door closed. Clary saw Alec snuggled up next to him. Though she was glad to see Magnus happy, a little part of her wished her friend had been at least slightly upset with his boyfriend for yelling at her. Though neither Magnus nor Alec knew what had happened to her when she'd left here last night.

"Hey guys," Clary said as she dumped her bag on the floor by the door. Magnus got up off the couch and came over to hug her. Clary accepted the hug, needing it more than Magnus knew.

"My silly boyfriend is very sorry for being such an ass," Magnus told her, pulling out of the hug, but keeping his hands on her shoulders, supportively.

"He really is!" Alec called from the couch. Clary turned her face to Alec. He was sunk deep in the couch as if ashamed and nervous. He certainly looked sorry. Compared to last night, Alec's little outburst didn't seem quite as worthy of holding a grudge over. He'd just been protecting his friend as was she. Maybe they weren't so different after all and besides, Alec hadn't been wrong. She had been worrying about Magnus to avoid thinking about her own issues. She had no intention of telling either of them the events of last night, but she couldn't help but wonder what difference them knowing would make? She suspected it would just make them feeling guilty and horrified, which only affirmed Clary's decision to not tell them. Magnus was her friend and she would spare him this information as it would only make him miserable.

"You are forgiven," Clary told him.

"Thank you," Magnus mouthed, smiling at her. He hugged her one more time before they broke apart.