Roommates & Soulmates

Ch176: Izzy's Dream

The figure approached holding something in his hand. Izzy wanted to accept it, wanted to move forward, but no matter how she tried she couldn't bridge the gap between them. Why? How could she be running this hard without getting even an inch closer? Her heart sank as she realized it was worse than that. He was getting farther away. Fading away before her eyes. 'No, not again,' she thought, running even more frantically now. Can't lose it all again. More now than before to lose. Fading... fading...

Izzy woke with a start, panting as she took in her surroundings. It took her a solid thirty seconds to really take in that she was home and everything was fine. Simon was asleep beside her, his gentle breathing just audible over the other household background noise.

Slowly, Izzy tried to relax. It was just a dream. It had been a very long time since she'd had that dream. Even so she knew exactly what it was about. The memories took her back to all those years ago when she'd been that awkward shy little girl gazing longingly at the boy she loved, too scared to walk over and speak to him. She remembered how it had all changed when Kris had finally noticed her at that party they'd both been drunk at. Even if he'd only seen for once and ignored her there after, Izzy could recall the pain perfectly even if the bit of it had been erased by time. It had been a week after that party when Izzy had first had the dream and she'd woken that day to learn that Kris had taken his own life. Despite her love for him, Kris hadn't valued his own life enough to stick around. It had taken Izzy many years to come to terms with the fact that there was nothing she could have done to help him even if he'd let her.

Isabelle didn't quite recognize the person in her memories. She knew she was indeed the one who had done those things, but her reality now compared to then made the past seem farther away somehow.

Being with Simon was in ever way different from her short lived and disastrous love of Kris. The biggest difference of course was that Simon loved her in return. So easily stated it seems a small thing, but it wasn't. To have the person you want, want you too is the difference between happiness and despair.

Loving Simon was like being half of a whole while loving Kris had been like being left behind. Still both versions of love held the same power to create fear in her heart. The fear of losing the one she loved. Even if she'd never actually had Kris, still it had been horrible when he'd died. She had so much more to lose now, so much more love and hope for the future with Simon than she ever had before. With more to lose comes more fear of loss. Izzy's mind told her she was being irrational, but still her heart needed comforting. Moving slowly so as not to wake him, Izzy cuddled up next to Simon. Without waking up, Simon wrapped an arm around her. Right away being held by him, being able to feel his presence beside her helped calmed her down. Izzy's mind felt silent as she focused on the even breathing of the man beside her. He was the love of her life, Izzy felt sure of that. And so long as he was by her side her world would keep spinning. Slowly and eveningly the rhythmic sounds of his breathing lulled her to sleep.

When she woke Simon was still there, though now he was conscious. Feeling so very grateful for his presence last night, Izzy leaned over and kissed him.

"What was that for?" Simon asked.

"Loves you," Izzy grinned at him.

"Yeah, I love you too crazy girl," Simon laughed. "But usually in the morning I get a growl of why did you wake me, not kisses."

"Would you prefer the growl?" Izzy giggled.

"Of course not," Simon laughed before pouncing on her. "Captured." She was pinned down with both of Simon's arms wrapped firmly around her.

"Oh no," Izzy said in mock distress. "How ever will I escape?" Simon laughed and squeezed her a little tighter before kissing her neck and letting her go.