Roommates & Soulmates

Maia's Circles

Simon was being released from the hospital today, and Maia's mind was going round in circles, but it wasn't so much Simon's coming home that was the problem. Maia was more than glad that her friend was well enough to leave 24 hour medical supervision. No, the problem was which house he was coming home to, and who might tag along. Maia was worried that Jordan would show up at her place to visit his friend. The real difficulties of her friend and ex-boyfriend having a relationship independent of her had only recently dawned on Maia.

She knew Simon and Jordan had been out at a bar when Simon had been hurt, but not much else. The last time she'd seen Jordan, she'd yelled at him for cutting his parents out of his life just for her sake. It was beyond stupid, Jordan's ignoring his family. They weren't even together anyway, so how could it possibly still matter? If only Jordan would make up with his mom and dad, maybe Maia would stop feeling guilty. After all, it really was all her fault. She simply wasn't worth his never speaking to his parents again. Oh how had their situation gotten so messed up? Then again, it wasn't like she had any say or any claim to Jordan. Why did she care so much that he was ruining his future for her sake? That was his choice to make, was it not? And it wasn't even for her sake so much as because he was to stubborn to see that it no longer mattered. Yep, her fault.

With a sigh, Maia banged her head down on the desk. She was sitting in a corner of the library, books lined up on the shelf past her head on the left, and a collection of assorted chairs on her right. It was her favourite spot, with natural light coming in from behind the desk, while being isolated enough to avoid the distractions of the main library. But today none of this was helping. Maia had been sitting here - trying and failing - to focus on her homework for the last hour. Oh, why was her mind going round and round in circles when it was meant to be standing still? Why?

With a deep exhale, Maia reminded herself that boys didn't matter. Dating didn't matter. What mattered was school, and getting away from her parents. Maia had to focus.

Taking yet another deep breath, she lifted up her head and forced herself to look at her econ paper. Yes, okay this was working. Add one more sentence here, then another there. If she got through this, she could sulk all night for all it mattered. One step at a time. Focus. Don't think about anything but the homework. Supply and demand. If the supply can meet the demand then... maybe she could do more to help Jordan with his parents. Like, she could contact them directly, and tell them where Jordan was. Then Jordan would be forced to confront them, and the relationship could be repaired; or would Jordan just get pissed and make everything worse?

Urg! Her head hit her text book this time. Maia still wasn't focusing on her homework. Lifting her head, Maia stared at the hated book she'd just tried to use as a pillow and read the definition again. Supply and Demand: the amount of a commodity, product, or service available and the desire of buyers for it, considered as factors regulating its price. Yes, that was what mattered right now, not boys.

"Focus Maia!" she said out loud trying to collect her thoughts. If anyone in the library heard her, they paid no attention.

She continued reading the relevant pages, and it seemed to help quiet her circling mind. Maia managed to finish the last few paragraphs of her homework before finally calling it a day, packing up her stuff, and heading home.

Now that she had nothing to distract her, Maia's mind jumped right back into its whirl of disfunction. Aside from the one fight they'd had recently, and the singular conversation before it, Maia hadn't seen much of Jordan since the start of the school year. Last year they'd been meeting almost weekly for study dates... sessions. Yes, definitely study session. There had been no dates involved. It was a silly word, and it meant nothing.

Even so, Maia couldn't help but feel like Jordan didn't want to keep doing that. She couldn't quite put her finger on what exactly it was that made her think this. Maia had enjoyed texting Jordan over the summer, but since school had started, things had been different and she didn't quite know why. Since the first time she'd seen Jordan stalking her in the halls, Maia had sensed no change in him from before. That is until now. Something had changed, and if she was being perfectly honest with herself, she wasn't happy about it.