Chapter Twenty Nine

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"Chas?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you ever think about what you'll be doing in five years time?" Snuggled up with Chas on the put-me-up bed in his workshop, I'm thinking aloud while being in my happy place...with him.

Laying his arm across my back, he begins rubbing it with a content gentleness. "I think the closer we're getting to our mocks and then our exams next year, I suppose I am thinking more about how my life might turn out," he says, sounding completely relaxed. "So far, life has taught me that it'll throw things at you—the good and the bad. It will test you, push you to your limits. It's also taught me that people and circumstances shape us as human beings. I might only be fifteen, but I know what kind of twenty year old I want to be. I don't want to be a man who will live his life incapable of functioning without technology. I want to be able to hold deep and interesting conversations face-to-face, and I want to be able to write letters with a pen and a piece paper. Technology has its place, I know that, but I honestly think we've gone too far with it. Letters have been replaced with digital messages. Sitting and talking like we are now, is being replaced with FaceTime and Zoom. The intimacy of being human is slowly being crushed by a digitalised world...and don't even get me started on governments and global consumerism." Hugging me, he now exhales some of his growing frustrations with the state of the entire world.

It's only since I have been with Chas, am I more aware of such things. He's passionate about what he believes and he's confident to be vocal about those beliefs, but what I admire most about him, is that he doesn't ever judge those who don't happen to think how he does about things. He respects that we all think differently, behave differently. For me, part of what makes Chas who he so admirably is, is his placid yet young wisdom. I love that young wisdom of his, I really do. As much as I love the light, witty and silly Chas, I love the deep, knowledgeable and serious Chas even more. I know that the boy I am cuddled up to right now, is one day going to be an amazing man.

"Whatever happens, in five years time, you're going to be an important someone in this world." Hugging him a little harder, I become aware of the fulfilment Chas gives me, without him even trying. Pulling my drifting thoughts together, I now smile. "I think you'll definitely have your own business—eco-friendly, of course. Maybe an electric car or two? Plus, I can see you living an hedonistic life, somewhere by the sea or maybe near a lake?"

Laughter starts floating up Chas's throat. "God, I sound like an antisocial recluse who'll be old before his time."

Giggling, I lift my head so I can see him. "Ah, but will you be a quiffless antisocial recluse?"

Raking his fingers through the onyx depths of his hair, the laughter from Chas deepens. "Hopefully, the quiff will still be with me." His gaze then becomes as soft as a breathtaking caress. "Hopefully, you will be too."

Just as he does, I want the very same thing. Now that Chas is in my life, I can't envision one without him. "You'll be a successful carpenter and I'll be successful with my art," I dreamily declare, straining to kiss the lips of the boy who only gives me hopes and dreams of the most wonderful kind. My kiss is brief, but it's one that's got the weight of my heart and soul within it. As I pull away slightly, I fixate on those teenage lips of his, now so full of pouty and kissable amusement. When my eyes wander back up to find his, I am remembering the words he affectionately spoke of back on the beach, about how my eyes will always feel like home to him. I know that feeling. I know it, because I'm feeling it right here and now. In his chestnut eyes, I am home. With a giddy sense of pleasure, I feel like I must share all of how I am feeling, "I don't care what happens in five years time. I only care that I'm with you." It doesn't matter that our parents all think we won't be, because our hearts know different.

Pressing his lips to mine, Chas caresses it more than kissing it. Closing his eyes, he's simply enjoying the featherlight sensation of our mouths being united. Becoming breathless by our closeness, he needs more from that closeness. Encircling me fully into his arms, his mouth hungrily covers mine—greedy for more of what I can give him. Shifting himself on top of me, his tongue begins playing with the teasing tip of my own tongue. This is no longer just a kiss, it's more than that. Our breaths are all over the place, just as our exploring hands are. This is us wanting each other, wanting more from each other. "I think we should stop." Just an heartbeat away from my parted mouth, Chas opens his conflicted-with-pleasure eyes. "We should stop before we go too far," Both his hands now cradle my face, gentle and yet so tortured.

Lowering my eyes from his, my body slumps with frustration beneath him. "I know," sighing, I do know. Even though the heat from my need for him can still be felt on the apples of my cheeks—I know.

Chas is right, we can't go too far. We're underage. We might be young and prone to foolishness at times, but losing our virginity isn't something to be foolish about. We have zero experience and zero protection. Now is not the time to throw caution to the wind. Up until now, the intimacy between Chas and I has always been wonderfully calm and controlled, but what unexpectedly just happened, was daring and unlearned. For some unknown reason, something has shifted between us. Maybe our relationship is strengthening, just as we are? Maybe our confidence is stoking the embers of our young desires? Maybe the sea air has blown away our adolescent sensibility?

Maybe! Maybe! Maybe! So many maybes, when maybe, it just doesn't matter? We'll not act on our newly awakened yearning for one another. We'll not be reckless with our warm-blooded wanting of one another. However, it's certainly something that we'll both need to be much more aware of, something we'll need to respect.

Caressing my cheeks with both his thumbs, Chas wants my gaze back on him. "It's not because I don't want to, it's just that it would be wrong if we did." Inhaling a steady breath, the fullness of his mouth comes carefully down on mine, delivering a kiss that's full of the gentlest regret.

Welcoming his lingering kiss, my arms come around Chas, holding him and more of his kiss against me. Breathing in the sweetness of this moment, my embrace becomes one that's so grateful for having a boy like him in my life. His maturity is appealing. His respect is comforting, while his self-restraint is downright admirable. If he hadn't stopped, I could have done something really stupid. "Thank you," is murmured against those regretful lips of his.

"For what?" Chas whispers, a grin waiting there on the sidelines of his mouth.

"For not letting us do something stupid." Thankfulness now radiates from the soft core of my body as I absorb the amazingness of the boy I am still happily cuddling.

Smiling, there's something now lazily seductive about his relaxed smile. "Once we can, we will." Brushing our noses together, Chas smiles some more.

"Roll on October, then." I profess with a playful pout, giggling just a little under the weight of his body.

"Yeah, roll on," Chas whispers, his eyes glowing with a rebellious inner fire.

My birthday is at the beginning of October, his is in the middle. Come the end of October, Chas and I will have experienced something that neither one of us will ever forget. The summer shall come and go, and we'll both be eagerly there to see in the autumn—together, and ready for that unforgettable experience.

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