The John Hughes Club

Chapter Fifty Nine

Chas

World War 3 is erupting around me, yet I just sit here, numbly detached from all of the shouting, all of the unhinged screams, the crossfire of so many tears, and the weight of disappointment that's heavily hanging in the living room air.

Two families.
War torn.
Being ripped apart by an unexpected bombshell.

Mindy is pregnant.
I know numbness very well, but this numbness is like one I've never felt before. This numbness, it has been created by my own actions. I've got Mindy pregnant. I have always prided myself on being a smart lad, but when I do something stupid, I have to go all out and do the stupidest thing ever. The girl I love, is pregnant, by me.

If it wasn't enough to ruin my life, I have to go and ruin hers as well. Many things have frightened me before, but as verbal missiles are being disarmed all around me, I have never been more frightened than I am now.

"I told you this would happen, didn't I? Didn't I say this would bloody well happen?" Megan shrieks across to my dad, shifting her glowering gaze over to Mindy. "How could you be so stupid?!" her shriek becomes ear-popping, her eyes bugging out upon her quiet and distraught daughter. "The very thing I feared happening has now happened. The very thing that I didn't want for you, is now growing in your stomach." Her rage then locks onto Mindy's dad, who has remained protectively close to Mindy the entire time. "What are we going to do about this, Damon? You're clever girl hasn't exactly been clever about this, has she?" scathing sarcasm drips off Megan's tongue, the same time as angry tears drip down onto her flustered cheeks.

"There's no need for that, Megan...we're all just as upset about this as you are." Damon Diaz's dull blue eyes pitifully glimpse at Mindy before finding their way to me and my dad. On me, his stare is fleetingly gloomy, on my father's, they're wilful and firm. Man-to-man, with just a look, he's wanting my dad to step up and say something constructive.

Unexpectedly, dad reacts to that wilful stare from Mindy's father. "This is a shock for everyone. We just need to stay calm and talk things through." Rising from off the sofa, dad straightens himself before observing Megan with his tender understanding. "Then, we can decide what to do."

"Don't tell me to stay calm, Rob, I'm feeling as far away as possible from calm right now!" Dad's soft response and his look of empathy in Megan's direction, clearly doesn't work—she's borderline psycho.

"I know that, but screaming and shouting isn't helping anyone...least of all your throat." Stressed, dad rakes his fingers through his hair, exhaling loudly. 

Megan also stands, like she wants to intimidate Mindy and her dad as they remain closely seated together on the other sofa, and making it more than obvious that she's choosing to completely ignore where I'm emotionlessly sitting on a single chair between both of those sofas. Yeah, I disgust her. I can't blame her for feeling that way towards me. I'm the one who is responsible for getting her daughter pregnant. She can hardly look at Mindy, so it's no real surprise that she's finding it even more difficult to look at me. Closing her eyes for a second or two, it's like Megan just needs those seconds to fill her lungs with less angry air. On a quivery exhale, her eyes both open to reveal trembling tears welling within them. Her intimidating stance and stare starts to disintegrate. Instead, she has to turn away. I have broken everyone—Mindy, myself, dad, Damon and Megan—and I don't know how to fix any of us.

A temporary ceasefire seems to have settled on the living room, but the smell of battle still hangs precariously in the living room air. The silence is deafening. When I breathe, it's like I'm breathing in inflammable disappointment. It's everywhere. Thick, and biding its time, waiting for the next spark of conflict to ignite the war all over again. So, I remain quiet. Dazed and quiet. In my solemn and silent state, I keep trying to wrap my head around what I've not long found out. One minute I was happily creating in my workshop, the next, dad angrily shows up and summons me back to Megan's house. Once there, I'm confronted with the two of them announcing that Mindy is pregnant and that she and her dad were on their way back to Minehead. From that point on, I know that lots of questions were being hurled at me, but I had no answers to hurl back. The moment I heard those thought-stunting words "Mindy's pregnant" my world just kind of dropped away. Anything said after that, became like a distant echo. Even though I've now had a bit of time for the bombshell to have settled, the shrapnel of it has totally immobilised me. I feel like I am watching and hearing everything from an anaesthetising distance. Still, I have no answers to give. Nothing I say, is going to make any of this right. The only time Mindy has looked at me, was when she and her dad first arrived. Only then, was I able to witness for the first time just how shell shocked she is. How broken this pregnancy has already made her. To know I have caused her hurt, hurts me. It hurts like hell. I'm the one who has put that rawness in her tear-tormented red-rimmed eyes. I'm the reason why those tears won't stop. The guilt is crushing me. It's stripping me of my strength to do something for her. Instead, I just keep sitting here, dissolving within my numbness, disappointment and regret; pathetically, unable to look Mindy's way or have anything of substance to say to her or to anyone else. If my legs weren't feeling so shaky, I'd probably try to walk out of this unforgiving room, but the shame and the shock has weakened every single part of me.

"I think it's safe to say, both Mindy and Chas never intended for this to happen. Being pregnant was never part of their plan. However, it has happened, so now we've got to support them through it," Damon Diaz calmly breaks the heavy silence, breaking its crushing-down sensation upon me.

Twisting around, Megan swipes away a fresh trickling tear with the back of her clenched hand. "Support them? How exactly do we do that, Damon? I don't even know where to begin with this? It's a devastating mess!" Her anger gets smothered by more of her sobs. As a mother, she seems at a complete loss. Like me, she doesn't know how to make this right.

Knowing that things are on the cusp of kicking off again, dad takes the reins of the emotionally charged conversation. "First things first, we all need to let this settle down in our heads. Then, we need to find out how many weeks pregnant Mindy is. The earlier we know what we are dealing with, the easier it'll be to come to a decision." To my surprise, I feel dad's hand come and softly settle on my right shoulder, patting it with his unexpected sympathy.

Him doing that, being there for me during my biggest screw-up of my entire life, shatters the stunned and shameful shield I have been hiding myself behind. "I'm so sorry, Dad!" Lowering my head between my trembling knees, the floodgates to my tears and to my regret, open. A punch of panic starts to repeatedly hit me in the gut, because I'm terrified of what myself and Mindy will eventually have to deal with. She has a baby now growing inside of her, so those punches of panic become harder and deeper in my gut.

Whichever way we look at this, Rob, they've ruined their lives. Whether they get rid of the baby or keep it, they have both ruined their lives," as Megan's disembodied words leave the confines of her croaky throat, she again begins to cry. Pacing, she no longer knows what to say or where to look, or even where to stand.

Lifting the heaviness of my ashamed head, I force myself to look across to Mindy. I have to find the strength to find the eyes of the girl I love more than anything in this world. Our world might now be full of confusion, the unknown, and a million regrets, but I still love her. Through my many tears, I see her. Through those distorting tears, I will her to look my remorseful way. Sensing my tear-veiled gaze, Mindy's hung head slowly starts to lift. Slowly, her dull eyes locate mine. I know she sees the residue of regret everywhere on my face. I know she sees my pitiful apology surfacing from all the pores of my skin—she sees it, and understands it.

Blinking back at me, right before my sorrowful eyes, she becomes an unusual mixture of being silently fierce yet frightened. "Whatever happens, this is something that Chas and I need to talk about—alone." Rising from her seat, Mindy rigidly begins to make careful and slow steps in my dumbstruck direction. I know she's just as terrified as I am, yet pushes it to the side to make a determined pathway towards me. In a brave few moments, she's standing by my feet, inviting my hand to bravely take hold of hers.

I daren't look at anyone, I keep my focus only on Mindy, keeping my eyes on the girl who has found an inner strength from somewhere inside of her shell shocked and terrified self. Inhaling all of my admiration for her, my hand is shakily keen to link with her braveness and her resilience. Locking our fingers together, I slowly stand, preparing myself to be ready to talk about what has happened.

Mindy is right, we need some time alone to process what's happened.

Together, we need to talk things through. Make sense of the misery we have caused, make sense of the problem, then try to put into action how we deal with that misery and that problem.

As we leave the adults behind us, we both cling onto each other that little bit tighter, for we both know that we are two teenagers who are now needing to wade into the uncharted waters of adult like conversations and decisions...two teens completely out of their depth.